How to Survive Divorce as a Stay-at-Home Mom

preparing for divorce Oct 02, 2017

I find myself supporting quite a few stay-at-home moms with their divorces. I think that's because stay-at-home moms know with absolute certainty that they cannot afford to make costly financial mistakes in their divorce settlements. When you don't have your own income and your income is entirely dependent on someone else, you can feel extremely vulnerable when going through a divorce.

Beyond merely being vulnerable, many stay-at-home moms feel real barriers to getting the advice they need when going through a divorce, especially those who do not have access to money of their own. Here are some professional tips for stay-at-home moms.

For more information about preparing for divorce, check out our book: When It's Just Not Work: A Practical Divorce Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms

Tips on How to Survive Divorce as Stay-at-Home Mom from a Professional

  1. Do not allow fear to make your decisions for you. One of the biggest mistakes that I see stay-at-home moms make is racking up the...
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8 Tips for Financially Preparing For Divorce

preparing for divorce Jul 16, 2017

On television, it all seems to happen quickly - there's no time for preparing for divorce. One partner walks in the door and announces, “I want a divorce!” The other couple has a big fight, and one of them says, “That’s it! I’m filing for divorce!”

In many “real life” instances, divorce is more of a slow burn. Sure there are those times when spouses angrily separate and one or the other moves out. However, in many cases, you see it coming, sometimes years in advance.

Because of this, you want to take the time to be financially prepared – especially if you’re the one initiating the divorce from your spouse. 

Every divorce is unique, but there are certain documents and financial paperwork required when you’re filing, whether you’re using a divorce mediator or working with attorneys. It’s wise to get your financial house in order and gather required documentation before you reach out...

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5 Tips to Improve Your Post-Divorce Budget

When going through a divorce, you are going to experience a lot of changes and many of those will have a financial impact. You will need to set up a new budget for your future.

If you’re on your own for the first time in a long time, you may not have given thought to how much rent will be or how much it truly costs to pay for health insurance or auto insurance and home or renter’s insurance. Everyday items that you never paid attention to – that cup of coffee at the drive-thru or lunches out with co-workers can add up and lead to a cash shortfall.

You need to budget for financial success after your divorce. Being suddenly single is a shock to your emotional and physical self. If you take steps to regain control of certain aspects of your life – your budget, for example – the transition will be easier and you will feel more in control.

Here are five tips for a better post-divorce budget:

1. Don't “set it and forget it.”

Your post-divorce...

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What is considered separate property in a divorce?

I often have clients come in who are misinformed about separate property and which assets should be divided in their divorce. Since I'm in Ohio, I will use that as my example. Ohio is an equitable division state. That means that a couples' marital assets are divided equitably in a divorce. It's important to note that equitable is not always equal but I will come back to that in another post. The question, however, is what constitutes a marital asset. All else would be considered separate property.

Pensions in Divorce

I hate gender stereotypes but I see this all the time so I think it is worth calling it out. I have never once had a man come into my office and say, "She can keep her pension, she earned it" while I frequently hear from female clients, "He can keep his pension, he earned it." I'm hoping others working in the divorce field have not had that same experience.

The pension is commonly the largest asset of the marriage.  If all or a portion of the pension was...

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10 Ways to Save Money on Your Divorce

Divorce is expensive. I've heard that the national average is around $20,000-25,000. Transitioning from marriage to divorce is hard enough without the hefty price tag. However, if you look at search engine traffic, a lot more people are searching for how they can protect their money in a divorce rather than how they can save money on the divorce process itself.

Saving money on your divorce does help to protect your money in a divorce as long as you are still getting sound professional guidance. You don't want to cut corners that are actually going to cost a lot more in the long run.

10 Ways to Save Money on Your Divorce

1. Communicate with your soon-to-be-ex. 

This means putting your emotions aside and having good, honest communication. The more you can decide on together, the less you will have to pay professionals. If you are not getting along well when you speak to each other, you may have better luck over email or text. Just make sure you are keeping it positive. If...

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Who Gets the House in a Divorce?

house in a divorce Jun 27, 2017

There is not a simple answer to the question of who gets the house in a divorce. It is, however, a question that comes up over and over as I work with divorcing couples. The family home is one of those assets of marriage that has memories – both good and bad – and it is a topic fraught with tension when a couple divorces. Here are some key factors to consider when determining who gets the house in a divorce.

Related: Deciding If You Should Keep the House

Questions to consider when determining who gets the house in a divorce

Why do you want to keep it?

This question is not as straight forward as it may seem. Is it strictly emotional? Do you want to keep it because your soon-to-be-ex wants it and you want it out of spite? Do you want to keep it so the children will have that one constant in their lives amid the divorce? There are lots of potential reasons for wanting to keep the house, and you may have more than one. Identifying your "why" can help you to...

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Social Security Benefits for Divorced Spouses

There is a great deal of confusion around Social Security benefits under the most straightforward circumstances. When it comes to social security benefits for divorced spouses, it's even more complicated.

First, it's important to note that social security is not divisible as an asset in a divorce. However, you may still be able to collect on your ex-spouse's work record. For many, social security is a crucial source of income in retirement, so it's essential to understand the rules for planning purposes.

Related post: What Everyone Ought to Know About Divorce and Retirement Accounts 

Spousal Social Security Benefits for Divorced Spouses

After you are divorced, if you were married for ten years or longer, you might still be eligible for your spousal benefit on your ex-spouse’s record. You're eligible if you meet the following criteria: 

  • You are unmarried, and you are age 62 or older;
  • Your ex-spouse is entitled to Social Security retirement or...
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3 Mindset Shifts to Make as You Prepare for Mediation

guest blogger mediation May 30, 2017

The following is a guest post written by Erica N. Reed, LCSW-C. Additional information about Erica can be found below.

As you planned the wedding ceremony and created your life together, the last thing you anticipated was scheduling a meeting to dissolve the marriage.  Whether the marriage had been in turmoil for a while, or you were caught off guard by the request for separation, women who are in the process of separation and divorce are on an emotional roller coaster and are simply trying to find stable footing.

Experiencing anger, sadness, hurt, fear, and resentment are to be expected during this time.   It’s very typical.  However, when entering mediation, these emotions can sabotage a successful outcome.

Here are three mindset shifts that are important for you to address as you prepare for mediation with your spouse.

Embrace Calm

Do you remember that emotional roller coaster I spoke about?  I’m sure you can...

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How much spousal support will I get?

alimony spousal support May 24, 2017

If your spouse is the primary earner, you're probably very concerned about how you're going to make ends meet after your divorce. Can you afford to stay in the house? Can you cover all of your bills? Will you have to get another job?

In fact, it's one of the most common questions I get - is there alimony in Ohio? Am I eligible? How much spousal support will I get? How long will I get it for?

It's also one of the most emotionally charged topics we deal with in divorce. For the one who needs alimony, they are depending on it to maintain their standard of living. On the flip side, do you really want to depend on your ex after your divorce is final?

If you are the primary earner, you're probably wondering if you'll have to pay spousal support. If so, how much and for how long? It would be easy to say, "The state provides a simple calculation." In Ohio, that isn't the case. Because there is no formula, it's a very gray area that is negotiated in every case.

First off, what is spousal...

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What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?

Dealing with a divorce is a stress beyond compare for many people. When you add to that the emotional stress of complicated financial issues that arise during this time, means it is crucial to enlist professional help to assure your money questions are addressed during the divorce. One person who can take a weight off your shoulders is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).

Consider that nearly one million couples will divorce annually in the United States and during that time they will be faced with some of the most important financial decisions of their lives; this could be especially true for women who have not been involved in the family finances up until this point. Your divorce attorney will handle the legal aspects of the divorce, but you may find you will reap a great reward from working with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

What does a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst do?

A CDFA is an experienced financial professional who helps...

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