If love is a battlefield, then co-parenting teens is a battlefield with landmines. Teenagers can swing from adolescent to grown-up feelings (and back again) in the snap of your fingers. This confusing age is hard enough already for them to navigate. Throw in the challenges of being a teen with divorced parents and watch the fun multiply!
Luckily, it doesn’t have to be fraught with turmoil and anxiety all the way. Knowing where some of the landmines are hidden, or what to do to avoid them outright, will make this period smoother for everyone.
The thing to remember is that right now, teens are becoming independent and striving to express themselves. They will have their own ideas about how things should be, and those ideas may go against what you’re thinking. At the end of the day, I know you want to keep them safe and happy. With these suggestions, you can navigate the challenges you may face as you co-parent your teen through divorce.
Few people in the world can truly say that they love paperwork. But, unfortunately, the whole divorce process creates an abundance of it, and if you aren’t organized, it can really cost you a lot of money. That’s on top of the stress and anxiety that could appear when you can’t find a particular document you need to send to your attorney or mediator. Trust me, that is the last thing you need while you’re going through a divorce!
The reality is that some people treat their divorce papers like they do their taxes. You can’t just put everything in a shoe box, drop it to your attorney or mediator, and let them figure it out. Well, you can, but that will cost you so much in billable hours. Instead, sit down with your divorce financial advisor, get yourself organized, and then bring it to your attorney or mediator.
In case you can’t tell, staying organized throughout the divorce process is beyond essential! Here are four simple ways you can organize...
Dealing with a breakup or divorce is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Worries weigh heavily on your heart, then you get angry, then incredibly sad - all within a matter of minutes. I know they certainly did when I was going through my divorce. One minute, I was fine; the next, I was beating myself up like my own worst enemy.
Going through these emotions is normal (although not incredibly productive) and you will start to feel the emotional waves lessen over time. As you are dealing with a breakup, here are five mindset shifts to adopt to help ease the emotional strain that you’re feeling right now.
When it feels like you have nothing else to lose, let it all go. Let go of the pain and hurt and “shoulda, woulda, coulda” that takes over. These negative emotions are like a lead balloon that keeps you tethered to trauma.
Shift your mindset to openness. The more you practice opening yourself to healing, your mind...
When you are generally in good health, you don’t need to see a cardiologist. Your family doctor can handle your needs. However, when you have a serious heart problem, you see a specialist because they have the training and experience to provide you with the best advice. It’s the same thing when it comes to your finances. When everything is fairly status quo, working with a traditional financial advisor is great. However, when you’re going through a divorce or have recently come out on the other side, you need financial advice...
With quarantine underway, it has created a lot of uncertainty for parents who are experiencing heightened responsibilities outside of their regular routine. And, when you're co-parenting this can amplify your concerns around commuting your children back and forth and deciding what is best for their health.
Maybe you're asking yourself…
Is it safe to have my children traveling to multiple locations?
What are the risks of them contracting it if one parent is an essential worker?
How do I put aside my emotions to do what is best for my children's health right now?
Where should the children spend quarantine?
By law, you and your co-parent will need to abide by your shared parenting agreement. However, some co-parents are making the difficult decision to create a temporary arrangement with clear guidelines, travel restrictions, and proper adjustments to diminish exposure of the virus between pick-ups and drop-offs. With that being said, a large number of...
When people think about infidelity, they typically think about one spouse or the other cheating with another person. However, did you know there's an entirely different type of infidelity that may not even involve another person? It's called financial infidelity.
If you think that your spouse is committing financial infidelity, there are warning signs. From large purchases on their own to small things that can add up to significant issues, here are the top signs of financial infidelity.
Related post: 3 Key Things You Probably Don't Know About Infidelity
Financial infidelity occurs when one spouse or partner hides information relating to finances from the other partner. That could include excessive spending, using family funds to help a friend without telling your spouse, increasing credit card balances, or even gambling. Financial infidelity not only has the ability to completely destroy any trust within a marriage or partnership...
by Laura Miolla, Certified Coach, Mediator and Parentology Coach
Infidelity is a LOADED word. You think you know what it means. You might know how it feels. You definitely don’t want it to happen to you. The very thought of it creates an immediate knee-jerk reaction of fear and anxiety. Like most people, you probably define infidelity as cheating … sexual relations outside of the marriage … and yet, that definition only scratches the surface of what infidelity REALLY is and how it can sabotage your marriage.
Infidelity is defined as “the action or state of being UNFAITHFUL to a spouse.” And there are THREE types of infidelity, not just one: Emotional, Physical and Financial.
If you and your spouse are going through the process of a divorce in court, the judge will try to ensure that all of your shared property is divided fairly or equally, depending on the laws in your state. However unpleasant it is to consider, there is a possibility that your spouse could be concealing some of the marital assets in an attempt to keep more for themselves.
In this post, we’ll go through some of the most common ways someone might try to hide their assets. The better you know what to look out for, the easier it’ll be to spot the inconsistencies and make sure you get your fair share.
Related post: How to Find Hidden Assets in a Divorce
A relatively simple way a divorcing spouse might hide financial assets is by taking money out of a joint account in both of your names or from a brokerage account. They would then transfer that money to an account only in their name.
Your spouse could also transfer money to a friend,...
Divorce can significantly impact your life in many ways. One often overlooked area that divorce can affect is your credit score. Credit bureaus do not report marital status and divorce itself doesn’t necessarily mean your score will drop. Usually, your credit score is affected indirectly due to divorce. To keep your score from taking a dive, it’s essential to consult with your Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to help you navigate your finances before, during, and after your divorce is final.
Maintaining a good credit score isn’t just important when looking to borrow money. Landlords, utility companies, and current or future employers can use your FICO (Fair Isaac Corporation) credit score to determine if they want to do business with you. The amount of debt you carry will identify to lenders whether or not you are a low or high-risk borrower and change your score. Your FICO score...
Starting over financially after divorce can feel overwhelming on numerous levels. If you are recently divorced, you could still be handling your legal bills related to the divorce. Besides, you are likely trying to manage your expenses on a lower income than what you're used to while only seeing half your assets when you open your investment statements.
If you walked away from your marriage with debt, look at ways to reduce your interest rates or reorganize to eliminate it. If you can't eliminate it right away, begin paying it down aggressively. Your monthly cash flow will be so much stronger if you're not paying down debt every month. When I am working with people on their divorce settlement, we often look for creative ways to eliminate the debt for both parties so they can each have a fresh start.
Related post: Debt and Divorce:...