RESOURCES
Start With Where You Are
Most divorce information fails for a reason that has nothing to do with the information. It is written for a stage you are not standing in.
You are three weeks from filing and reading about rebuilding credit. Or your divorce has been final for a year and everything you find wants to explain what a QDRO is, when what you need is to get the one you already have implemented. Good information, wrong moment.
So this page is sorted by where you are, not by what kind of file it is. Find the stage that sounds like you and start there.
CONSIDERING | PREPARING | GOING THROUGH | AFTER DIVORCE | PENSIONS | BOOKS
CONSIDERING DIVORCE
You Have Not Decided Anything Yet
And nothing here asks you to. These are the quiet first steps.
Divorce Readiness Scorecard
A few minutes, and it shows where you are most and least prepared. Private. Free.
Getting Divorced Checklist
The details that fall through the cracks when everything is happening at once. Free.
Everything for This Stage
The articles, podcast episodes, and questions women actually ask before they decide.
PREPARING FOR DIVORCE
Getting Organized Before It Starts
Documents, credit, your team, and the early mistakes that are expensive to undo.
Protect Your Credit During Divorce
What to do before, during, and after so your credit survives the process. Free.
BIFF Response Pack
How to answer a hostile email without making things worse. Brief, informative, friendly, firm. Free.
Divorce Resource Toolkit
Everything to consider and prepare, in one place, including the Personal Finance Planner.
Everything for This Stage
Documents to gather, who to hire, and the early decisions that are hardest to undo.
GOING THROUGH DIVORCE
Decisions On the Table Right Now
The house, support, retirement accounts, and a settlement someone has asked you to sign.
When Your Attorney Is Not Listening
How to be heard, and how to make billed hours work harder for you. Free.
Negotiating Skills eBook
Practical negotiation for a settlement conversation, not a boardroom.
Everything for This Stage
Settlement decisions, support, the house, and the trade-offs nobody explains up front.
LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
The Divorce Is Final. The Money Still Needs Sorting.
Implementing the agreement, and then building something of your own.
Divorce Recovery Guide
The first honest look at your finances as they now stand, on your own. Free.
Journaling Prompts for Divorce
Fifty prompts for the part of divorce that is not arithmetic. Free.
Parenting Through Divorce
Raising your children well through the process, with a plan you can follow.
Everything for This Stage
Implementation, rebuilding, and the Post-Divorce Financial Roadmap if you want help.
REFERENCE
Dividing a Public Pension
If you or your spouse has a government pension, the rules are different. Most of these plans are exempt from ERISA, which means a QDRO does not apply and a Division of Property Order is used instead. These are the official guides.
Federal Plans
- Court-Ordered Benefits for Former Spouses, covering Civil Service Retirement, Federal Employees Retirement, federal health benefits, and group life insurance.
- Thrift Savings Plan: divorce, annulment, and legal separation. A TSP account is divided by a Retirement Benefits Court Order, not a QDRO, and the order can be issued at any point in the proceedings.
- TSP booklet: Court Orders and Powers of Attorney, if you want the full detail.
- A Handbook for Attorneys on Court-Ordered Retirement, Health Benefits and Life Insurance. Written for attorneys, useful if you want the detail.
Ohio State Plans
- OPERS Domestic Relations leaflet, for public employees.
- STRS Ohio Division of Property Orders guide, for teachers.
- SERS Domestic Relations Guide, for school employees.
- Ohio Police and Fire Domestic Relations guide.
REFERENCE
Child Support, State by State
Child support is set by the state your case is filed in, and the formulas differ more than most people expect. This links to the agency that actually administers the program in each state, which is where the current guidelines and calculators live.
MORE
Books, Listening, and Where Else to Look
Books I Wrote
When It's Just Not Working: A Practical Divorce Guide for Stay-At-Home Moms
Written for the position that is hardest to plan from: out of the workforce, and facing a divorce anyway.
Intentional Money: The Modern Woman's Guide to Building Wealth, Purpose, and Peace
For the part that comes after the divorce is done, when the question stops being how do I get through this and becomes what do I actually want to build.
Reading and Listening
- Intentional Divorce Insights, the podcast. Every episode has a written transcript if you would rather read.
- The blog, which is where most of the specific questions get answered.
- Children's books about divorce, organized by age.
- Books for the grief of divorce, if you are looking for something for yourself.
Finding a Professional Elsewhere
If you need someone in a state we do not serve, these directories are a reasonable place to start.
- Find a CDFA, through the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts.
- Find a family mediator, through the Academy of Professional Family Mediators.
- International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, if you are considering a collaborative divorce.
You Do Not Need Every Answer Today
If you have read through this and still are not sure what you need, that is a normal place to start. A first conversation costs nothing, and we will tell you honestly whether we can help.
Schedule a complimentary callIntentional Divorce Solutions provides divorce financial planning, mediation, and coaching. We are not a law firm and we do not provide legal advice. The information on this page is general education and is not individualized financial, tax, or legal advice. Some content refers to Ohio law and may not apply in your state.
Last reviewed: August 2026