Over the years of working with people going through a divorce, I've heard repeatedly that one of the parties was blindsided by the other spouse's request for a divorce. With that said, a relationship headed for an impending divorce will often show multiple signs of challenges and issues, if you're paying attention.
One of the most frequent complaints is that love has faded. Know that it's normal for relationships to change over time. Your love will also change. The first feeling of romance will turn into a deeper kind of love. However, it shouldn't disappear. A relationship that has lost its love altogether is in danger.
Anger and resentment can do immense damage to a relationship. If you both resent each other, then it's a strong sign the marriage is in trouble.
If one partner feels criticized by the other, it can lead to anger and resentment. In a healthy relationship, you may occasionally criticize each other and argue. However, if the criticism is constant and feels overwhelming, there's a more significant issue.
An unhealthy relationship can be created by one partner, continually belittling the other partner.
Trust is a crucial foundation of marriage, so relationships can crumble if it disappears. Do you have concerns about your partner's motives and suggestions? Do you worry about infidelity? Do you believe your partner no longer wants you to be successful?
These are typical examples of lost trust in a relationship. A lack of trust means that you don't feel comfortable being vulnerable around your partner. This can hinder you from sharing your deepest thoughts.
Whether one of you has lost interest in sex or you both have, a lack of physical intimacy is a clear sign that there's a serious problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed. Many of the couples that I work with share that they have not shared a bed in quite some time prior to deciding to dissolve their marriage.
Do you have an ex that is meddling with your current relationship? This can lead to serious issues in a marriage and become a key factor in an impending divorce.
Even if you no longer have feelings for your ex, your current partner can feel uncomfortable and scared. They can question the strength of the marriage.
Do you feel that you are constantly having the same argument with your partner, yet nothing is resolved? In a relationship, it's common for one or both of you to bring up the same issues. However, eventually, progress has to be made in resolving the problems. Otherwise, it starts to affect the marriage.
If you don't make any progress, then you're at risk of stagnating in the issue. It's essential to be able to compromise, forgive, apologize, and move on.
Relationships that continue to have the same arguments with no resolutions can suffer from distance and resentment. You're at risk of losing the closeness and emotional connection you have with your partner. A negative pattern can form that leads to frequent arguments that don't get solved.
Over time, not being able to resolve your differences can tear apart your marriage and signify an impending divorce.
Before a breakup occurs, you may notice multiple signs that a relationship is suffering. By paying attention to the complaints and signs, you can work on positive resolutions to your challenges instead of divorce.
If you are concerned about an impending divorce and you're worried about the financial aspects, contact me for a Strategy Session. Preparation is key to minimizing the stress and financial impact of a divorce.
Related post: Preparing for Divorce Checklist