The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
A client came to me a couple of years ago, right before Christmas, worried about money. Very specific money. Her furnace was failing and her roof needed work, the kind of repairs that could not be put off another season. She knew the number to the dollar. She had run it more than once, mostly becaus...
Communicating with a difficult ex works best when you stop trying to change them and start controlling your own side of it. Keep responses brief, factual, friendly and firm. Answer only what was actually asked. Do not defend yourself against bait. Move the conversation to a documented platform if it...
If you are divorcing a narcissist, you already know that this is not a normal divorce.
Normal divorce is hard. Divorcing a narcissist is something else entirely. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the hidden assets, the refusal to settle reasonably, the way they can make you question your own memory...
The best co-parenting app is the one both parents will actually use. If your communication is broadly civil, a shared calendar may be all you need. If it is contentious, or if anything might end up in front of a judge, choose a platform that keeps an unalterable record: OurFamilyWizard and TalkingPa...
Holidays are a time for family, friends and spending time together, but this can be very complicated if you’re divorced and are trying to figure out how to make it a great holiday for your kids. And if it’s your first Christmas after a divorce, there will definitely be challenges.
I still remember...
This is part of a 3-part series on what women wish they knew before their divorce. You're reading: Part 3 Also in this series: Part 1 — Insurance, process, relationships, and self-care | Part 2 — College, agreements, exhaustion, and mindset
Divorce can be a bit like a special club that you never an...
This is part of a 3-part series on what women wish they knew before their divorce. You're reading: Part 2 Also in this series: Part 1 — Insurance, process, relationships, and self-care | Part 3 — Mediation, priorities, state laws, and happiness
The time before your divorce is full of anticipation. ...
This is part of a 3-part series on what women wish they knew before their divorce. You're reading: Part 1 Also in this series: Part 2 — College, agreements, exhaustion, and mindset | Part 3 — Mediation, priorities, state laws, and happiness
When I think back to the time during and even before my div...
Teenagers process divorce differently from younger children. They need less reassurance about logistics and more honesty about what is actually happening, without adult details. Expect anger, expect them to pull away, and expect them to want a say in the schedule. The parenting plan matters more at ...
It's that time of year again where many of us are considering how we might be better or do better in the new year with New Year's resolutions. If parenting with your ex has been a significant struggle in your life, I want to challenge you to resolve to be a better co-parent this year. If you don't w...
De-escalating co-parenting conflict comes down to four habits: slow your response time down, keep your tone deliberately neutral, stop treating your ex's choices as a competition, and never bring the marriage into a conversation about the children. Most co-parenting arguments escalate because someon...
Decide what you are going to say about your divorce before the subject comes up at the table, and keep it short. You do not owe anyone a full account. Ask family to stay out of the parts that are not theirs: picking sides, giving legal or financial advice, shaming your ex, criticizing your settlemen...
