Your first set of holidays after your divorce will be weird, scary, and painful - but they’ll also be happy, joyful, and unexpectedly fun if you let them. The key, I think, is to feel your feelings. It’s okay if you’re having a day that isn’t holly and jolly. It’s alright if you sit down to write in your gratitude journal and struggle to come up with anything aside from Well, I changed out of my PJs today.
I don’t mean to downplay the feelings you may be going through right now as you approach your first holiday after divorce. It is one of the most traumatic events you can go through in your adult life. Here are 21 quotes to remind yourself that you are loved, you are brilliant, and you will move through this season with your head up and deep breaths in your lungs.
“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” — KT Witten
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you...
You might already be familiar with open enrollment, but let’s take a moment to talk about what it really means in the context of divorce and life changes, since those things will make an impact on how you select insurance plans during this period!
While the timing of open enrollment can vary with different employers, open enrollment is generally the period between November and mid-December where you are able to make changes to your health insurance plans. During this period, you can choose to renew your participation in your company's current insurance plans, switch to a different one, or drop your existing plan.
Because of the flexibility in choosing next year’s coverage, this is a good time to take a step back and take a look at where your employee benefits fit into everything else you’re doing. There could be connections you’re missing, or not aware of, that may save you money (or cost you big) over the course of the next year. Here are a few things...
While divorce ends a marriage, the financial relationship between you and your ex does not just end. Whether you are dealing with child support or alimony, the financial relationship can go on for many years, and in some cases, may be permanent.
In many marriages, one spouse earns more than the other. In case of a divorce, the earning discrepancy means the financially stable partner needs to provide financial support to enable their ex-spouse to establish a new post-divorce life. What exactly is alimony?
Spousal support or alimony is financial assistance available only to legally married spouses seeking a divorce. It is a partner's contribution that ensures their ex-spouse or recipient achieves their financial independence after divorce.
While spousal maintenance or support may seem like a straightforward affair, it's covered by different laws, with each state having different provisions.
Spousal support starts during a legal divorce or...
When going through a divorce, you hear a lot of myths. Unfortunately, because you may be hearing the same ones repeated from a few sources, it can seem like they’re more truth than myth. These proclamations of how things “always are” or “never are” can be terribly scary, too. In a time when you’re already going through a lot, you don’t need more stress on your plate.
These five divorce myths have been cropping up a lot between some of my clients, so I wanted to take a moment to play Divorce MythBusters and talk through why these are myths and the truth of the situation instead.
The Truth: It will save you time and money to hire a professional who is specialized in divorce-related financial issues.
One of the biggest issues I see most often comes from attorneys who aren’t family law attorneys. Similarly, there’s false information given from...
The other day, I was speaking with someone and a lot of emotions around the financial decisions of her divorce came up. There was a lot of fear, uncertainty, and a deep desire to “do it right.” What’s more, her soon-to-be ex-husband managed the money while she stayed at home with their children, so she’s uncomfortable making financial decisions for herself now.
She’s researched, but it’s left her even more confused. Where does she start? What’s important? Can she stay in her house? She doesn’t want the process to be litigious, but she wants to feel confident that she’s making the right decisions and doing the right thing.
I see that with a lot of couples who come to me. One person has managed the money throughout the life of the relationship and then, when a divorce or dissolution happens, the other partner has to quickly learn a lot of information to make big financial decisions.
There’s a lot of late nights spent...
The time before your divorce is full of anticipation. It’s also full of lots of questions and uncertainty. If you’re anything like me, I wasn’t sure where to turn to find answers. The reality is that everyone’s experience is unique, although the general themes of what to prepare and what you should know before your divorce is fairly similar.
Earlier this year, I posted this question to a group of divorced and soon-to-be divorced people. I asked, “What do you wish you knew before your divorce?” I got so many responses, I couldn’t fit them into one blog post! (The first post here is full of information about health and other insurance, the process, and few other questions.) So, this second post is a companion to that one to prepare you even more for what a divorce may bring.
The issue of higher education expenses varies greatly from family to family. In addition, college tuition varies by state. Often,...
It doesn’t matter if you’re married or divorced, different people have different ideas about how to transition their children into adults. While you may be in favor of providing full financial support, your co-parent may have other ideas. For that matter, even different states’ laws handle the transition to adulthood differently. Big transitions for your child, like college, are infinitely easier when you have a plan. It mitigates stress and anxiety, two things you don’t want around during your child’s move to college!
When preparing for your child to go away to school, there are some big conversations that need to be had with your co-parent. For starters, how much financial support will you, as the child’s parents, provide? Assuming you will provide some level of financial support, who will be responsible for which expenses? Creating a plan for how you’ll handle expenses and other responsibilities as you parent your child during this time...
The issue of health insurance comes up in many of my cases as it can be a huge added expense post-divorce. You can’t stay on someone’s health insurance when you get divorced, but no one talks about the things you need to know and options that are available to you. For instance, what do you do when your child is no longer on child support, but can still be covered under the beneficiary’s plan until they’re 26?
There are two big things to consider with health insurance and divorce: your child’s coverage and your coverage. Here’s a high-level overview of what to know and how to plan for coverage post-divorce. As always, let me know if you have specific questions!
As part of the child support agreement, you’ll be identifying who is covering health insurance for your child or children. Bear in mind that it could reduce the amount of child support paid. For example, if you are awarded child support, but your...
When I think back to the time during and even before my divorce, there was so much I didn’t know. I felt unprepared. Even though I knew I could navigate this new set of unique challenges, I wish I had someone to tell me what to look out for.
The same doesn’t have to happen to you! I’ve collected a few of the most popular things I’ve heard other women say they wished they knew before their divorce to compile this post. If you’re finding yourself in the same situation, hopefully, this guidance will bring you some information and inspiration.
As a financial advisor, I didn't even know this, so you aren’t alone if you’re uncertain about what to do when it comes to insurance.
When this happened to me, I assumed that, because I paid my insurance premium for the whole month, I’d have insurance for the whole month. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Coverage ends upon the day of your divorce. Had I...
If love is a battlefield, then co-parenting teens is a battlefield with landmines. Teenagers can swing from adolescent to grown-up feelings (and back again) in the snap of your fingers. This confusing age is hard enough already for them to navigate. Throw in the challenges of being a teen with divorced parents and watch the fun multiply!
Luckily, it doesn’t have to be fraught with turmoil and anxiety all the way. Knowing where some of the landmines are hidden, or what to do to avoid them outright, will make this period smoother for everyone.
The thing to remember is that right now, teens are becoming independent and striving to express themselves. They will have their own ideas about how things should be, and those ideas may go against what you’re thinking. At the end of the day, I know you want to keep them safe and happy. With these suggestions, you can navigate the challenges you may face as you co-parent your teen through divorce.