5 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce

before divorce Jun 16, 2020

When I think back to the time during and even before my divorce, there was so much I didn’t know. I felt unprepared. Even though I knew I could navigate this new set of unique challenges, I wish I had someone to tell me what to look out for.

The same doesn’t have to happen to you! I’ve collected a few of the most popular things I’ve heard other women say they wished they knew before their divorce to compile this post. If you’re finding yourself in the same situation, hopefully, this guidance will bring you some information and inspiration.

What To Do About Health Insurance

As a financial advisor, I didn't even know this, so you aren’t alone if you’re uncertain about what to do when it comes to insurance.

When this happened to me, I assumed that, because I paid my insurance premium for the whole month, I’d have insurance for the whole month. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Coverage ends upon the day of your divorce. Had I...

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Co-Parenting Teens: Helping Your Teen Through Divorce

Uncategorized Jun 02, 2020

If love is a battlefield, then co-parenting teens is a battlefield with landmines. Teenagers can swing from adolescent to grown-up feelings (and back again) in the snap of your fingers. This confusing age is hard enough already for them to navigate. Throw in the challenges of being a teen with divorced parents and watch the fun multiply!

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be fraught with turmoil and anxiety all the way. Knowing where some of the landmines are hidden, or what to do to avoid them outright, will make this period smoother for everyone.

The thing to remember is that right now, teens are becoming independent and striving to express themselves. They will have their own ideas about how things should be, and those ideas may go against what you’re thinking. At the end of the day, I know you want to keep them safe and happy. With these suggestions, you can navigate the challenges you may face as you co-parent your teen through divorce.

3 Things to Remember when...

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4 Ways to Stay Organized Throughout the Divorce Process

organized divorce May 19, 2020

There are few people in the world who can truly say that they love paperwork. Unfortunately, the whole divorce process creates an abundance of it, and if you aren’t organized, it can really cost you a lot of money. That’s on top of the stress and anxiety that could appear when you can’t find a particular document you need to send to your attorney or mediator. Trust me, that is the last thing you need while you’re going through a divorce!

The reality is that some people treat their divorce papers like they do their taxes. You can’t just put everything in a shoe box, drop it to your attorney or mediator, and let them figure it out. Well, you can, but that will cost you so much in billable hours. Instead, sit down with your divorce financial advisor, get yourself organized, and then bring it to your attorney or mediator.

In case you can’t tell, staying organized throughout the divorce process is beyond essential! Here are four simple ways you can...

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5 Mindset Shifts to Ease Divorce Trauma

mindset shifts May 05, 2020

Dealing with a breakup or divorce is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Worries weigh heavily on your heart, then you get angry, then incredibly sad - all within a matter of minutes. I know they certainly did when I was going through my divorce. One minute, I was fine; the next, I was beating myself up like my own worst enemy.

Going through these emotions is normal (although not incredibly productive) and you will start to feel the emotional waves lessen over time. As you are dealing with a breakup, here are five mindset shifts to adopt to help ease the emotional strain that you’re feeling right now.

Feel the Freedom of Letting Go

When it feels like you have nothing else to lose, let it all go. Let go of the pain and hurt and “shoulda, woulda, coulda” that takes over. These negative emotions are like a lead balloon that keeps you tethered to trauma.

Shift your mindset to openness. The more you practice opening yourself to healing, your mind will...

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Why You Need to Work with a Divorce Financial Advisor

When you are generally in good health, you don’t need to see a cardiologist. Your family doctor can handle your needs. However, when you have a serious heart problem, you see a specialist because they have the training and experience to provide you with the best advice. It’s the same thing when it comes to your finances. When everything is fairly status quo, working with a traditional financial advisor is great. However, when you’re going through a divorce or have recently come out on the other side, you need financial advice from a specialist. 

People think their attorneys should know these things to get them the best settlement. The reality of the situation is: the attorney doesn’t necessarily know any better. It isn’t because they’re trying to harm you, many of them truly don’t know any better because they’re not numbers people; that’s not their specialty. You wouldn’t seek out an attorney for medical advice, would...

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Co-Parenting During COVID-19: 5 Ways To Stay Connected With Your Children  (When You Don’t Have Them)

With quarantine underway, it has created a lot of uncertainty for parents who are experiencing heightened responsibilities outside of their regular routine. And, when you're co-parenting this can amplify your concerns around commuting your children back and forth and deciding what is best for their health. 

Maybe you're asking yourself…

Is it safe to have my children traveling to multiple locations? 

What are the risks of them contracting it if one parent is an essential worker? 

How do I put aside my emotions to do what is best for my children's health right now?

Where should the children spend quarantine?

By law, you and your co-parent will need to abide by your shared parenting agreement. However, some co-parents are making the difficult decision to create a temporary arrangement with clear guidelines, travel restrictions, and proper adjustments to diminish exposure of the virus between pick-ups and drop-offs. With that being said, a large number of...

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Top Signs of Financial Infidelity to Watch For

When people think about infidelity, they typically think about one spouse or the other cheating with another person. However, did you know there's an entirely different type of infidelity that may not even involve another person? It's called financial infidelity.

If you think that your spouse is committing financial infidelity, there are warning signs. From large purchases on their own to small things that can add up to significant issues, here are the top signs of financial infidelity. 

Related post: 3 Key Things You Probably Don't Know About Infidelity

What is Financial Infidelity? 

Financial infidelity occurs when one spouse or partner hides information relating to finances from the other partner. That could include excessive spending, using family funds to help a friend without telling your spouse, increasing credit card balances, or even gambling. Financial infidelity not only has the ability to completely destroy any trust within a marriage or partnership but...

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3 Key Things You Probably Don't Know About Infidelity

by Laura Miolla, Certified Coach, Mediator and Parentology Coach

Infidelity is a LOADED word. You think you know what it means. You might know how it feels. You definitely don’t want it to happen to you. The very thought of it creates an immediate knee-jerk reaction of fear and anxiety. Like most people, you probably define infidelity as cheating … sexual relations outside of the marriage … and yet, that definition only scratches the surface of what infidelity REALLY is and how it can sabotage your marriage.

1. There are THREE Types Of Infidelity

Infidelity is defined as “the action or state of being UNFAITHFUL to a spouse.”  And there are THREE types of infidelity, not just one: Emotional, Physical and Financial.

  • Emotional Infidelity is when your spouse is emotionally intimate with someone else.
  • Physical Infidelity is when they are sexually intimate with someone else.
  • Financial Infidelity is when they are spending money or...
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Cover Your Assets: How Your Spouse Might be Hiding Theirs

financial infidelity Mar 10, 2020

If you and your spouse are going through the process of a divorce in court, the judge will try to ensure that all of your shared property is divided fairly or equally, depending on the laws in your state. However unpleasant it is to consider, there is a possibility that your spouse could be concealing some of the marital assets in an attempt to keep more for themselves. 

In this post, we’ll go through some of the most common ways someone might try to hide their assets. The better you know what to look out for, the easier it’ll be to spot the inconsistencies and make sure you get your fair share. 

Related post: How to Find Hidden Assets in a Divorce

Tricky Transfers

A relatively simple way a divorcing spouse might hide financial assets is by taking money out of a joint account in both of your names or from a brokerage account. They would then transfer that money to an account only in their name. 

Your spouse could also transfer money to a friend, rather...

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How to Keep Your Divorce from Destroying Your Credit

debt Feb 25, 2020

Divorce can significantly impact your life in many ways.  One often overlooked area that divorce can affect is your credit score.  Credit bureaus do not report marital status and divorce itself doesn’t necessarily mean your score will drop.  Usually, your credit score is affected indirectly due to divorce. To keep your score from taking a dive, it’s essential to consult with your Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to help you navigate your finances before, during, and after your divorce is final.

Keep Your Divorce from Destroying Your Credit

Maintaining a good credit score isn’t just important when looking to borrow money.  Landlords, utility companies, and current or future employers can use your FICO (Fair Isaac Corporation) credit score to determine if they want to do business with you.  The amount of debt you carry will identify to lenders whether or not you are a low or high-risk borrower and change your score. Your FICO score...

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