Holidays After Divorce for Kids: 5 Ways to Help Them Enjoy the Season

The holidays are about family and time together, which can make them feel complicated after a divorce. You want the season to be special for your kids, and you're figuring out a whole new way of doing it, often while working through your own feelings at the same time.

I still remember my first Christmas after my divorce. I worked hard to keep our routines as close to normal as possible, especially for my then-toddler. Honestly, it was tough to manage my own emotions while trying to make the season magical.

Here's what I know now. Kids don't need a perfect holiday. They need to know what's happening, feel that both parents still love them, and see the adults around them doing okay. With some planning, you and your co-parent can give them a holiday season they'll remember fondly. These five steps will help.

1. Make Plans in Advance

Talk to your co-parent about the holiday schedule as early as you can, ideally before November. Discussing it early gives you both time to share ideas, ask questions, and work through any disagreements without the pressure of the calendar. If your parenting plan already spells out the holidays, start there. Keep the focus on what will make the season easiest and happiest for the kids.

Once the plan is set, share it with your kids. Children feel more secure when they know where they'll be and when. A simple calendar on the fridge can work wonders for younger kids.

2. Listen to What Your Kids Want

Kids will have different questions depending on their age. Little ones may worry that Santa won't know where to find them this year. Give them space to ask, and reassure them with clear, simple answers.

Books can be a gentle way to open those conversations. Hope's Broken Snow Globe follows a little girl named Hope through her first Christmas after her parents' divorce. You'll find more ideas in our list of the best children's books about divorce, organized by age.

Older kids and teens may have opinions about where they spend Christmas Eve or a particular tradition. Listen to their suggestions and talk through the options honestly. They won't always get their first choice, but being heard goes a long way.

If your kids usually see grandparents, cousins, or other extended family over the holidays, do what you can to keep those visits on the calendar. Those relationships give kids stability while other parts of their lives are changing.

3. Share a Tradition Together, If It Works for Your Family

Not every divorced couple can do this, and that's okay. But I've seen co-parents come together for a few hours while the kids open presents, or for a meal or tree decorating. It doesn't have to be the whole day.

For this to work, both parents need to set aside their differences and agree not to discuss the divorce or other hard topics. Agree on the timing in advance, like 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. on Christmas morning, so no one feels pressured to stay longer. If there's a lot of tension between you, two separate, calm celebrations are better for your kids than one tense shared one.

4. Stick to the Plan and Don't Overbuy

Once you and your co-parent agree on a plan, stick to it. Kids can prepare for what's coming, and so can you. Things may not go exactly as planned, but following through keeps disappointment to a minimum.

I've seen so many parents go overboard on gifts, especially that first year. It's often guilt talking, and it's completely understandable. But kids remember the time they spend with you far more than the number of presents under the tree. Set a gift budget before you shop, and try to agree with your co-parent on big-ticket items so you're not competing. If this one hits close to home, read more about guilt spending after divorce, and here's how to build a holiday budget on one income.

5. Be Realistic and Flexible

No holiday is perfect. Even when you were married, things probably went sideways sometimes. After a divorce, the holidays can still be magical for your kids. You can keep some favorite traditions and create new ones too. It will be different, but different doesn't mean bad.

Even with a plan in place, stay flexible. Someone gets sick, the car breaks down, a flight gets delayed. Life happens. Your kids will take their cues from how you handle it.

And if this year doesn't go the way you hoped, you can always adjust for next year. Every holiday season after the first one gets a little easier.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I help my kids if they're sad during the holidays?

Let them feel it without trying to fix it right away. Name what they're feeling, remind them that both parents love them, and keep routines as steady as you can. Sadness around the holidays is a normal part of adjusting. If it lasts or seems to be getting heavier, talk with their pediatrician or a family therapist.

How much should each parent spend on gifts after divorce?

There's no right number, but it helps if you and your co-parent agree on a rough budget and coordinate on big gifts. That prevents competition and keeps kids from comparing households. What matters most to kids is time with each parent, not the price tag.

Should I tell my kids the holiday plan in advance?

Yes. Kids feel more secure when they know what's coming. Share the plan once it's settled, keep it simple, and present it in a positive way. For younger kids, a visual calendar helps.

A Happy Holiday Is Still Possible

The holidays won't look the way they did when you were married, but they can still be a happy time for your whole family. Try one or all of these steps, and give yourself grace along the way. Co-parenting isn't easy, especially during the holidays.

For more support through the season, visit our holiday resource hub.

Related Reading

• Your first Christmas after divorce
• Thanksgiving after divorce
• Helping kids through divorce: what actually helps in the first year
• When you and your ex disagree about the holidays

Leah Hadley is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF™), and trained mediator with over 20 years in financial services. She has been through divorce herself, and she is the bestselling author of Intentional Money: The Modern Woman's Guide to Building Wealth, Purpose & Peace and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions.

Last reviewed: October 2026