Thanksgiving After Divorce: 7 New Traditions and How to Get Through the Day

For a lot of women, Thanksgiving is the first big holiday after divorce. Even if you've been divorced for years, the season can still sting. November and December are full of traditions, and many of them were built around the family you had before.

Here's what I see happen again and again. People try to recreate the same Thanksgiving, just minus one person. It rarely works. The empty chair ends up being the loudest thing in the room, and everyone feels the loss a little more.

So instead of holding on to every old tradition, think of this year as a chance to try something new. Nothing says you have to do it the same way every year. You might even find a new favorite.

Before the Day: Settle the Plan

If you have children, start with the schedule. Check your parenting plan first, since many plans spell out who has Thanksgiving, often alternating between even and odd years. Then confirm the details with your co-parent by early November, including handoff times and who's driving. Plans made in advance are so much calmer than plans made the night before.

If you and your ex can't agree, our guide to holiday disagreements with your ex can help, and the holiday survival guide compares the most common ways parents split the day.

7 New Thanksgiving Traditions to Try

1. Change the Feel of the Day

If your family usually eats on fine china with cloth napkins, switch to festive paper plates this year and tell everyone to come in their comfiest clothes. If you're normally the casual type, go the other way. A nice tablecloth and some candles can make the day feel new.

2. Make It a Potluck or Pick a Theme

If you usually do all the cooking, ask everyone to bring their favorite Thanksgiving dish. Or skip the big dinner altogether and make it a dessert party, a taco night, or a meatless feast. Thanksgiving doesn't have to include turkey. A potluck also keeps the day easier on your holiday budget.

3. Get Outside

Take a walk before you eat or after the meal, alone or with someone you love. Fresh air, even cold air, has a way of resetting your mood. If you're feeling ambitious, sign up for a local Turkey Trot. Even if you go by yourself, there's a real camaraderie among the people who show up early on Thanksgiving morning.

4. Write Down Your Gratitude

Instead of just going around the table, put it on paper. Roll out a brown paper table runner and let everyone write what they're thankful for, or use paper leaves as decorations people can write on. It becomes a keepsake you can pull out next year.

5. Volunteer

If you have time on your hands this Thanksgiving, give some of it away. Many local organizations need help delivering or serving meals this time of year. You can also collect canned goods and drop them at your local food pantry. Helping someone else has a way of putting your own season in perspective.

6. Host a Movie Marathon

Skip the big meal and invite people over later in the day to watch holiday movies or a series you all love. Pop some popcorn, bring out the candy, put your feet up, and enjoy.

7. Have a Friendsgiving or a Grown-Up Sleepover

Who says adults can't have sleepovers? Invite the friends closest to you to stay the night. Add some pampering, like face masks or manicures, or make festive drinks and appetizers and catch up on each other's lives. If your family is far away or complicated right now, a Friendsgiving with the people who show up for you can be exactly what you need.

If You Won't Have Your Kids on Thanksgiving

This is often the hardest part. The key is to plan the day so it doesn't just arrive. Make plans with people who care about you, sign up to volunteer, or do something you've always wanted to do.

Then plan your own celebration with your kids for a day you do have them. A Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday is still Thanksgiving dinner, and many kids love having two. You're not giving anything up. You're rearranging it.

Gratitude Without Pretending

Thanksgiving can come with a lot of pressure to feel grateful. If you're not there yet this year, that's okay. Grief and gratitude can sit side by side. Some days one is louder than the other.

If you're further along and looking for perspective, a letter of gratitude to my ex shows what that can look like down the road.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do divorced parents usually split Thanksgiving?

Alternating years is the most common approach, with one parent taking Thanksgiving in even years and the other in odd years. Some parents split the day, with one parent having the morning and the other the evening, or give one parent Thursday and the other the rest of the weekend. Whatever you choose, follow your parenting plan and put any changes in writing.

What should I do on Thanksgiving without my kids?

Make a plan ahead of time so the day doesn't feel empty. Spend it with friends or family, volunteer, or do something just for you. Then plan a second Thanksgiving with your kids for a day you have them.

Should I host Thanksgiving my first year after divorce?

Only if it feels good to you. Some women love hosting because it keeps them busy and surrounded by people. Others need a year off. Either choice is fine, and a potluck can give you the best of both.

A Different Thanksgiving Can Still Be a Good One

However you spend Thanksgiving this year, it's okay to do it differently. The first holidays after divorce can be rough. But new traditions give you a chance to discover what matters most to you this time of year, and they become yours.

If the season is feeling heavier than you expected, divorce coaching can help you through it, and our holiday resource hub has everything else I've written about the holidays after divorce.

Related Reading

• Your first Christmas after divorce
• Making the holidays happy for your kids
• Talking to your family about your divorce
• 30 quotes about gratitude for tough times
• Developing a gratitude mindset to grow personally and professionally

Leah Hadley is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF™), and trained mediator with over 20 years in financial services. She has been through divorce herself, and she is the bestselling author of Intentional Money: The Modern Woman's Guide to Building Wealth, Purpose & Peace and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions.

Last reviewed: October 2026