The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach
Growing up, you likely heard others, at some point, say the “F- word”, and it wasn’t’ “fudge.” It was a taboo word and could possibly land you with a bar of soap in your mouth. In this blog we will discuss a different “F-word”, and it still isn’t “fudge”, b...
by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach
Divorce—a stark winter landscape where the familiar, leaf-laden trees of love and partnership are suddenly bare. But what if I told you that beneath that ice lies seeds of resilience waiting to sprout? Just as the arrival of spring heralds rebirth and new b...
Communicating with a difficult ex works best when you stop trying to change them and start controlling your own side of it. Keep responses brief, factual, friendly and firm. Answer only what was actually asked. Do not defend yourself against bait. Move the conversation to a documented platform if it...
If you’re searching for a divorce support group, I get it. You’re looking for people who understand what you’re going through. The sleepless nights. The financial overwhelm. The grief that hits you out of nowhere in the middle of a random Tuesday.
You’re not wrong for wanting that. In fact, reachin...
Going through a divorce is not just emotionally taxing, but it also brings a host of financial complexities that can have a profound impact on your future. Many individuals, while recognizing the need for legal advice during divorce, often overlook the critical role of a Certified Divorce Financial ...
Yes, women pay alimony. Alimony (spousal support) is gender-neutral, and a court can order either spouse to pay it based on financial need and ability to pay, not gender. Pew Research found that in 2022 wives were the primary or sole breadwinner in 16% of U.S. marriages and earned about the same as ...
An intentional divorce is one where you decide in advance how you want to move through the process, rather than reacting to whatever happens next. In practice it means choosing your process before conflict chooses it for you, gathering the financial facts before you negotiate, deciding which outcome...
The core difference is who is in the room. In collaborative divorce, each spouse has their own attorney and a team of professionals works together toward a settlement, with everyone signing an agreement not to litigate. In mediation, one neutral mediator facilitates and attorneys are optional. Colla...
It's the New Year! Now what?
Post by Liesel Darby, Divorce Coach & Mediator
The New Year is all about starting fresh, starting over, moving forward. Unless you happen to have a giant shiny red REFRESH button to hit on January 1, some intentional pondering must happen before any changes are made. I...
Divorce asks you to make some of the biggest financial decisions of your life at the exact moment you feel least equipped to make them. I've watched that play out for hundreds of women, and I've lived a version of it myself. The good news is that managing your money during divorce doesn't require yo...
Over the past few years I have been a guest on dozens of podcasts, talking with attorneys, mediators, coaches, and therapists about the financial side of divorce. This page collects those conversations in one place, grouped by what each one is actually about.
Looking for shows to subscribe to ins...
During mediation, a CDFA builds the complete financial picture and stress-tests every proposal against it. That means analyzing assets and debts, working out how retirement accounts and pensions can actually be divided, identifying the tax consequences of options that look equivalent on paper, model...