The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
Change can be difficult whether you choose to make changes in your life or someone else has made that choice for you. Let's face it. Divorce changes many facets of your life and will test your ability to handle change to an extreme.
Some people struggle more than others with change. They fight it, ...
When a child refuses to visit their other parent, the usual cause is the transition itself rather than the other parent. Consistency is what fixes it: keep the routine predictable, keep your own anxiety off your face, let them bring familiar things, and prepare them in advance. Unless there is negle...
It may or may not come as a surprise to you that a pension is frequently the largest asset negotiated in a divorce. With that said, it's not a foregone conclusion that you'll have to give up a portion of your pension as part of your divorce settlement. I'm surprised by the number of cases I see in w...
Most divorce mediations take two to four two-hour sessions, following an initial orientation session where the process is explained and both parties sign the agreement to mediate. Calendar time depends far more on how quickly you can both get in the room than on the number of sessions. Couples who s...
When I was dealing with my breakup, I felt a wide range of emotions - everything from sadness to shame to anger and back again. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. On my best days, I wasn't being very kind to myself and on my worst days, I was my own worst enemy.
When you're dealing with a bre...
Rebuilding After Divorce
Going through a divorce can leave your finances feeling completely upended. Suddenly managing two households instead of one is costly, regardless of your income or the terms of your settlement. If you'reΒ struggling with money after a divorce, you're not alone, and there is a...
Looking for FAFSA tips for divorced parents? In many of my divorce cases, how college expenses will be handled is an issue that needs to be addressed. It's common for parents to wait to divorce until their children are teenagers or young adults. This tends to be around the same time that people are ...
A co-parenting schedule works for the school year when both households run on the same basic rhythm: consistent bedtimes and homework routines, a shared calendar both parents can see, duplicate supplies at each house so nothing has to travel, and a written agreement on who pays for what. Settle the ...
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Talking to your kids about divorce is one of the hardest parts of the whole process.
You are managing your own emotions while trying to find the right words for theirs. You want to be honest without overwhelming them. You want them to feel safe and loved even as everything around them is chang...
Preparing for an impending divorce is more than just picking up the phone and calling an attorney. There are the emotional aspects, financial, legal, and, of course, there are parenting issues. It means figuring out what life is going to look like when it's all said and done and includes preparing y...
Helping kids through divorce comes down to four things: keeping conflict with their other parent away from them, telling them the truth at a level they can hold, keeping their daily life as predictable as you can, and getting support for yourself so you are not processing your divorce in front of th...
To keep your emotions from running a mediation session: show up rested and fed, know in advance which topics set you off, focus on the facts when you feel yourself escalating, ask for a break before you need one, listen actively enough to repeat back what your spouse said, and keep your long-term pr...