How to Prepare for Mediation: Divorce Mediation Checklist

mediation preparing for divorce
reviewing divorce mediation checklist

As couples navigate the challenging and emotionally charged process of divorce, they often encounter complex legal and financial decisions. While litigation remains a common route, an increasing number of couples are turning to divorce mediation as a more cooperative and cost-effective approach to resolving their differences.

Mediation empowers couples to have a greater say in the outcome of their divorce and fosters open communication, which can be particularly beneficial, especially when children are involved. However, successful mediation doesn't happen by chance—it requires thorough preparation. In this blog post, we'll provide you with a comprehensive Divorce Mediation Checklist to ensure you're fully prepared for this vital step in your divorce journey. Whether you're considering divorce mediation or have already scheduled your first session, our checklist will help you navigate the process with confidence, clarity, and a focus on achieving your desired outcomes.

Questions for the Divorce Mediator

Before we get into preparing for divorce negotiations, it's important that you select a skilled divorce mediator to facilitate the negotiations during your divorce mediation session. Make a list of questions that you have for the mediator. Before agreeing to use the mediator, you and your spouse should have an opportunity to speak with them. You'll want to ask about:

  • Mediator's experience
  • Their process
  • Cost of mediation/fees
  • Availability for meetings
  • Experience mediating the specific issues that will be dealt with in your divorce

Remember that cost is just one aspect when selecting a divorce mediator. Similar to a divorce attorney, if mediators are charging by the hour, you may not want to choose the lowest cost solution, as a skilled mediator is very likely to be more efficient with their time. Thus, sometimes mediators with a higher hourly rate are less expensive because you don't need as many hours.

divorce mediation checklist

List Your Concerns

Make a list of all of your concerns. You may not address them in your first appointment, but it's important to start writing them down. To keep yourself organized, cluster your concerns about a specific topic. For example, list all the concerns you have about your shared parenting agreement separately from concerns you have about dividing retirement accounts.

To get you thinking, here are some topics to consider:

Consider Consulting with a Divorce Attorney

If you have complex legal issues, it may be beneficial to consult with a divorce attorney before starting mediation. An experienced attorney can give you advice on your rights and options and help you understand the potential outcomes of your case. They can also review any agreements reached in mediation to ensure they are fair and legally enforceable.

Preparing for Parenting Plan Negotiations

Planning for negotiations of the parenting plan is a critical aspect of the divorce process when children are involved. Crafting a thoughtful and workable parenting plan requires careful consideration of the children's best interests, the parents' schedules and abilities, and the unique dynamics of the family. It's an opportunity for both parents to collaboratively design a roadmap for co-parenting that promotes stability and ensures the well-being of their children.

Effective planning involves open and respectful communication, flexibility, and a commitment to finding common ground. It's not just about the legal aspects but also about fostering a cooperative and supportive parenting relationship that can adapt to the evolving needs of the children as they grow. With the right approach to planning and negotiation, parents can create a parenting plan that lays the foundation for a healthy and nurturing co-parenting journey.

Specific items to consider include:

  1. Educational decision making
  2. Health-related decision making
  3. Parenting schedule
  4. Holiday schedules
  5. Child-related expenses (e.g., uncovered medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc.)
  6. Plans for communication

It's essential to recognize that child support may not cover all child-related expenses, as it typically addresses basic financial support. However, mediation allows parents to collaboratively negotiate additional child-related expenses, such as educational, medical, or extracurricular costs, ensuring a more comprehensive and tailored support arrangement that best serves the child's needs and well-being.

Preparing to Negotiate Financial Matters

Preparing to negotiate financial matters in divorce mediation is a critical and multifaceted aspect of the divorce process. It requires a commitment to transparency and collaboration, as the parties involved work together to achieve a fair and mutually beneficial outcome. In this process, a comprehensive evaluation of the financial landscape is conducted, encompassing various elements such as income, assets, debts, and expenses.


Effective preparation involves more than just crunching numbers; it necessitates open and respectful communication between the spouses. It's about creating an environment where both parties can actively participate in crafting financial solutions that align with their individual needs and goals. Through mediation, the focus is not only on the immediate financial arrangements but also on developing a long-term financial roadmap that paves the way for both individuals to achieve financial stability and independence as they embark on separate paths post-divorce.

To embark on this journey, it is essential to gather certain financial documents before beginning the negotiations. These documents serve as a foundation for the discussions and help ensure that all relevant information is considered. By having a comprehensive understanding of the financial landscape, the parties can navigate the negotiations with clarity and confidence.



Divorce Mediation Checklist: Financial Documents

Collect and organize all of your financial documents. Bring them with you to each appointment. Below is a list of documents to get you started (some may not apply):

  • Financial affidavits (if already completed)
  • Monthly/annual budget for each party
  • Tax returns with all supporting W-2s
  • Investment account statements
  • Bank account statements
  • Retirement account statements
  • Recent statements on Employee Stock Options, Employee Stock Purchase Plans, and/or Restricted Stock accounts
  • Mortgage statement
  • Paystubs
  • Credit card statements
  • Recent statements for any outstanding loans
  • Policy statements for Life Insurance and/or Annuities
  • Social Security estimate statements (available at
  • Full P&L for current and prior year for any businesses owned
  • Insurance policies for all automobiles (write in current mileage for each vehicle)

Collecting all relevant financial documentation ensures that negotiations are grounded in accurate and complete financial information. This not only facilitates fair and equitable agreements but also promotes transparency and trust between the parties involved, setting the stage for a more cooperative and successful mediation process.

The divorce mediation process is an opportunity to navigate the challenging terrain of divorce with greater control and understanding. Armed with this comprehensive Divorce Mediation Checklist, you can approach the negotiation table with confidence, clarity, and the tools needed to make informed decisions.

Remember, the ultimate goal is to reach a divorce settlement that not only resolves financial matters but also supports the well-being of all involved, especially if children are part of the equation. By prioritizing open communication, cooperation, and thoughtful planning, you can pave the way for a smoother transition into your post-divorce life, armed with the knowledge that you've taken the necessary steps to secure your future.


Additional posts about divorce mediation:

3 Mindset Shifts to Make as You Prepare for Mediation

The Best Kept Secret of Mediation

5 Mediation Strategies to Get What You Want

How to Ask Your Spouse to Mediate Your Divorce

Can Pre-Mediation Coaching Really Make a Difference?

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

Bridge the Divide: Negotiations in Mediation

Divorce Mediation Tips for Handling Your Emotions


About Intentional Divorce Solutions

At Intentional Divorce Solutions, we're committed to guiding individuals through the complexities of divorce with an approach centered on empowered choices and respectful outcomes. Our team provides comprehensive support and expertise in several key areas:

  • Divorce Financial Planning and Analysis: Providing in-depth financial insights and strategies for a secure future post-divorce.
  • Divorce Mediation: Facilitating respectful and balanced negotiations to reach mutually beneficial resolutions.
  • Divorce Coaching: Offering personalized support and guidance to help you navigate through emotional and practical challenges of divorce.
  • Divorce Support Groups: Creating a space for sharing experiences and finding strength in community support.

Please Note: We focus on providing support and solutions in various aspects of divorce. However, we are not attorneys and do not offer legal advice.

Work With Us

If you are on the journey of divorce and seeking professional, empathetic support, we are here to assist you. Reach out to us to discover how our services can be adapted to your unique needs, empowering you to make informed decisions for respectful and positive outcomes.

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