When going through a divorce, you hear a lot of myths. Unfortunately, because you may be hearing the same ones repeated from a few sources, it can seem like they’re more truth than myth. These proclamations of how things “always are” or “never are” can be terribly scary, too. In a time when you’re already going through a lot, you don’t need more stress on your plate.
These five divorce myths have been cropping up a lot between some of my clients, so I wanted to take a moment to play Divorce MythBusters and talk through why these are myths and the truth of the situation instead.
The Truth: It will save you time and money to hire a professional who is specialized in divorce-related financial issues.
One of the biggest issues I see most often comes from attorneys who aren’t family law attorneys. Similarly, there’s false information given from...
The other day, I was speaking with someone and a lot of emotions around the financial decisions of her divorce came up. There was a lot of fear, uncertainty, and a deep desire to “do it right.” What’s more, her soon-to-be ex-husband managed the money while she stayed at home with their children, so she’s uncomfortable making financial decisions for herself now.
She’s researched, but it’s left her even more confused. Where does she start? What’s important? Can she stay in her house? She doesn’t want the process to be litigious, but she wants to feel confident that she’s making the right decisions and doing the right thing.
I see that with a lot of couples who come to me. One person has managed the money throughout the life of the relationship and then, when a divorce or dissolution happens, the other partner has to quickly learn a lot of information to make big financial decisions.
There’s a lot of late nights spent...
The time before your divorce is full of anticipation. It’s also full of lots of questions and uncertainty. If you’re anything like me, I wasn’t sure where to turn to find answers. The reality is that everyone’s experience is unique, although the general themes of what to prepare and what you should know before your divorce is fairly similar.
Earlier this year, I posted this question to a group of divorced and soon-to-be divorced people. I asked, “What do you wish you knew before your divorce?” I got so many responses, I couldn’t fit them into one blog post! (The first post here is full of information about health and other insurance, the process, and few other questions.) So, this second post is a companion to that one to prepare you even more for what a divorce may bring.
The issue of higher education expenses varies greatly from family to family. In addition, college tuition varies by state. Often,...
It doesn’t matter if you’re married or divorced, different people have different ideas about how to transition their children into adults. While you may be in favor of providing full financial support, your co-parent may have other ideas. For that matter, even different states’ laws handle the transition to adulthood differently. Big transitions for your child, like college, are infinitely easier when you have a plan. It mitigates stress and anxiety, two things you don’t want around during your child’s move to college!
When preparing for your child to go away to school, there are some big conversations that need to be had with your co-parent. For starters, how much financial support will you, as the child’s parents, provide? Assuming you will provide some level of financial support, who will be responsible for which expenses? Creating a plan for how you’ll handle expenses and other responsibilities as you parent your child during this time...
The issue of health insurance comes up in many of my cases as it can be a huge added expense post-divorce. You can’t stay on someone’s health insurance when you get divorced, but no one talks about the things you need to know and options that are available to you. For instance, what do you do when your child is no longer on child support, but can still be covered under the beneficiary’s plan until they’re 26?
There are two big things to consider with health insurance and divorce: your child’s coverage and your coverage. Here’s a high-level overview of what to know and how to plan for coverage post-divorce. As always, let me know if you have specific questions!
As part of the child support agreement, you’ll be identifying who is covering health insurance for your child or children. Bear in mind that it could reduce the amount of child support paid. For example, if you are awarded child support, but your...
When I think back to the time during and even before my divorce, there was so much I didn’t know. I felt unprepared. Even though I knew I could navigate this new set of unique challenges, I wish I had someone to tell me what to look out for.
The same doesn’t have to happen to you! I’ve collected a few of the most popular things I’ve heard other women say they wished they knew before their divorce to compile this post. If you’re finding yourself in the same situation, hopefully, this guidance will bring you some information and inspiration.
As a financial advisor, I didn't even know this, so you aren’t alone if you’re uncertain about what to do when it comes to insurance.
When this happened to me, I assumed that, because I paid my insurance premium for the whole month, I’d have insurance for the whole month. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Coverage ends upon the day of your divorce. Had I...
If love is a battlefield, then co-parenting teens is a battlefield with landmines. Teenagers can swing from adolescent to grown-up feelings (and back again) in the snap of your fingers. This confusing age is hard enough already for them to navigate. Throw in the challenges of being a teen with divorced parents and watch the fun multiply!
Luckily, it doesn’t have to be fraught with turmoil and anxiety all the way. Knowing where some of the landmines are hidden, or what to do to avoid them outright, will make this period smoother for everyone.
The thing to remember is that right now, teens are becoming independent and striving to express themselves. They will have their own ideas about how things should be, and those ideas may go against what you’re thinking. At the end of the day, I know you want to keep them safe and happy. With these suggestions, you can navigate the challenges you may face as you co-parent your teen through divorce.
There are few people in the world who can truly say that they love paperwork. Unfortunately, the whole divorce process creates an abundance of it, and if you aren’t organized, it can really cost you a lot of money. That’s on top of the stress and anxiety that could appear when you can’t find a particular document you need to send to your attorney or mediator. Trust me, that is the last thing you need while you’re going through a divorce!
The reality is that some people treat their divorce papers like they do their taxes. You can’t just put everything in a shoe box, drop it to your attorney or mediator, and let them figure it out. Well, you can, but that will cost you so much in billable hours. Instead, sit down with your divorce financial advisor, get yourself organized, and then bring it to your attorney or mediator.
In case you can’t tell, staying organized throughout the divorce process is beyond essential! Here are four simple ways you can...
Dealing with a breakup or divorce is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Worries weigh heavily on your heart, then you get angry, then incredibly sad - all within a matter of minutes. I know they certainly did when I was going through my divorce. One minute, I was fine; the next, I was beating myself up like my own worst enemy.
Going through these emotions is normal (although not incredibly productive) and you will start to feel the emotional waves lessen over time. As you are dealing with a breakup, here are five mindset shifts to adopt to help ease the emotional strain that you’re feeling right now.
When it feels like you have nothing else to lose, let it all go. Let go of the pain and hurt and “shoulda, woulda, coulda” that takes over. These negative emotions are like a lead balloon that keeps you tethered to trauma.
Shift your mindset to openness. The more you practice opening yourself to healing, your mind will...
When you are generally in good health, you don’t need to see a cardiologist. Your family doctor can handle your needs. However, when you have a serious heart problem, you see a specialist because they have the training and experience to provide you with the best advice. It’s the same thing when it comes to your finances. When everything is fairly status quo, working with a traditional financial advisor is great. However, when you’re going through a divorce or have recently come out on the other side, you need financial advice from a specialist.
People think their attorneys should know these things to get them the best settlement. The reality of the situation is: the attorney doesn’t necessarily know any better. It isn’t because they’re trying to harm you, many of them truly don’t know any better because they’re not numbers people; that’s not their specialty. You wouldn’t seek out an attorney for medical advice, would...