5 Steps to Getting Your Life Back in Control after Divorce (Guest Post)

Whether your friends are congratulating you or commiserating with you after you sign your divorce agreement, you’ve been through a grueling process.

It’s over and you’re single, again.

There’s often a sense of relief but you may also feel sad for the loss of a future with a life partner you thought you’d have, uncertain about how to co-parent, overwhelmed as to where to go from here, and concerned about finding happiness again.

Many women feel ashamed that their marriage ended, worried about what others will think, and guilty for raising their family from two homes. The truth is, it’s completely possible to change the perception of divorce into one that’s freeing, emboldening, and empowering. Going through a divorce is a calling card for getting your life back on track. It starts with figuring out what’s out of balance in your life. Those imbalances lead to stress and stress wrecks on our health.

Divorce Ranks #2 as the Most Stressful...

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Post-Divorce Parenting Conflict Around the Holidays

Ways to Manage the Stress

For most of us, the holiday season is full of decorating, shopping, baking, wrapping gifts and parties. While this can all be fun, we all know that it’s also stressful!

Then, there is the added pressure of parenting. School grading periods are ending and big projects are due. There are also holiday programs like band and choir concerts to attend.

For divorced parents, this is all in addition to figuring out how to divide your time and make it “the most wonderful time of the year” for your children. It’s common for all of this stress to lead to parenting conflict.

How can you be jolly with so much to figure out? 

So, how are you and your ex supposed to handle the parenting conflict on top of everything else? Whether it’s your first holiday post-divorce, or you have been divorced for years, there can be tension and questions. Let’s talk about some things you can do to help make it a happy holiday season with minimal...

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Online Mediation: How to ‘Zoom’ Your Way to Divorce

 

Mediation is More than Just a Virtual Reality

We often get asked if divorce mediation can work with busy schedules. And the answer is YES! Did you know that divorce mediation can be conducted anytime from anywhere? Keep reading to find out how…

What is Mediation?

Let's first talk about what mediation is. You may think of it as a process where you will be forced to talk about your problems and have decisions made for you and your soon to be ex. However, this is not the case! The true definition of mediation is a process where a neutral, third party assists to help resolve conflict. It is a structured, interactive process where you will be encouraged to actively participate. 

With divorce mediation, this usually means a married couple sitting down in a room with the mediator. It's normally a face-to-face encounter. There may be a computer screen or whiteboard for notes. The meetings can take place during some "off-hours" but are typically held during the day on a weekday....

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What is Child Support Awareness Month?

Child Support Awareness Month is observed annually in August. By definition, child support is a family law that requires a parent to provide periodic financial aid to their child(ren) until the child(ren) becomes a legal adult.

Recognizing this month began in 1995 when then-President Bill Clinton recognized August as the National Child Support Awareness Month in the US. Since 1995, child support organizations have recognized and celebrated the significant role of child support. Child Support Awareness Month aims to create an awareness of the importance of child support, motivate social service groups, and encourage people to help children in need.

While child support laws vary by state,  all child support laws and services are designed to ensure each child’s well-being and safety are the top priority.

Why is this month important?

This month is important as it brings awareness to how crucial child support is to a child’s development. Child support helps ensure that...

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Negotiations in Mediation: Calculating Spousal Support

Negotiations around spousal support (also known as alimony or spousal maintenance, depending on where you live) are often ripe with emotion. And, it's no wonder. When people reach out to me, they are often worried about what they will be able to afford after the final divorce. Common questions include:

  • Will I be able to stay in my home, or will I have to move?
  • Will I be able to keep my children in the schools where they have friends, or will there be a necessary transition?
  • Will I be able to pay my bills, or will I need to get a second job or go back to work?

Calculating Spousal Support

All of these fears are very common and have to do with money coming in and money going out. But unfortunately, calculating spousal support is not cut and dry in most jurisdictions. Most jurisdictions don't offer a spousal support calculator.

For most families, there is not sufficient income to support two households that are similar to the marital standard of living without increasing income. As a...

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Why Estate Planning After Divorce is a Must

Divorce is anything but easy. Some emotional or financial issues will be more challenging to overcome than others, yet every challenge has a solution.

As you work your way through a checklist of items to deal with during the divorce process, you'll have lots to consider, from who gets what to your new living arrangements and custody of minor children. You'll also be working through some financial planning for life after divorce.

A critical piece of your new financial plan is your estate plan. Whether you already have a will, trust, and other legal estate paperwork, or only a bank account and no estate planning documents at all, we'll walk you through the essential items you need to address at the end of your marriage.

Note: Before finalizing any estate planning documents, ensure you are not violating any terms of your divorce judgment, i.e., property settlement agreement or life insurance policy requirements. 

Estate Planning After Divorce Is Critical

Estate planning...

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5 Ways to Keep Your Divorce from Affecting Your Job

Divorce is on the the list of one of the top 10 stressors we can face, and it impacts every aspect of our lives, including our professional career. So how can you continue to be productive as you’re going through this huge life change that is likely causing you stress and consuming your thoughts? We’ve put together a list of 5 things you can do to help keep your divorce from affecting your job.

Talk to Your Boss 

Not everyone feels comfortable discussing their personal life at work, and in this situation, it’s best to keep the explanation simple without going into a lot of detail. You can tell your boss that you are going through a very challenging time, but you are committed to your job. Let your boss know if you anticipate any time constraints or challenging deadlines in the near future and offer suggestions for how you can still meet your goals. Also, let your boss know that you will use your vacation time for any days that you need to take off for...

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Divorce and the Family Home (Guest Blog Post)

If you're wondering how to keep your house in a divorce, you're not alone. A lot of our clients have sentimental attachments to their homes. Your home is where you’ve made so many memories. It's where you raised your family. You may have close relationships with your neighbors or other strong ties to the community. I’ve written a number of blog posts and newsletters on whether or not it makes financial sense to keep the family home, and today I want to share  a post written by one of my colleagues, Jim Robenalt,  Attorney & Founder of Next Page Mediation.

The family home is unlike other financial assets and debts. A house is an illiquid asset, layered with emotion, that cannot be quickly cashed out and divided. It is often a couple’s most significant asset that houses their family and provides (and signifies) stability. In a divorce, the decision of what to do with the family home is often the most contentious issue to resolve. There are often...

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A Fantastic Resource for those Experiencing a High Conflict Divorce

Since I started supporting those going through the divorce process, I have been amazed at the extremes I have witnessed. Some clients start out pursuing an amicable termination of marriage only to be drawn into a high conflict situation by their soon-to-be-ex. Others are extremely angry when they first reach out but find healing through the process and work together toward reasonable settlements over time. Then, of course, there is everything in between.

I knew I needed more training to support those going through high conflict divorce. I was fortunate enough to attend one of Bill Eddy's live trainings when he came to Cleveland several years ago. He is an authority on managing high conflict personalities through the divorce process, and I have several of his books on my shelf that I refer to regularly.

A resource for those divorcing those with high conflict personalities

In the latest edition of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or...

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Help Eliminate Shared Parenting Struggles with One of these Co-Parenting Apps

Co-Parenting Apps

I think we all can agree that parenting can be challenging even in the best of circumstances. Co-parenting after a divorce brings a whole new set of challenges. When I first went through my divorce, dealing with the most basic things related to the kids felt like preparing for battle with my ex over and over. It was stressful and exhausting. 

And I did not want to contact my ex every time I received information from the school or one of the kids was invited for a playdate or an appointment with the doctor was needed. I was relieved to find a co-parenting app that worked best for our family. It streamlined and kept track of all communications, and that’s what we needed!

So I thought it would be helpful to share a list of apps and tools that can help make co-parenting a little easier. Many of these tools offer the same or very similar features so pick and choose which one can best meet your needs.  

(Please note, while I promote very few...

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