The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
If you have found yourself quietly Googling "can I afford to get divorced" at midnight, or spending your lunch break reading about what divorce actually costs, you are not alone. And you are not approaching this the wrong way.
Midlife women considering divorce are often carrying a lot: decades of sh...
A divorce mediator and a CDFA do different jobs. The mediator facilitates the conversation and helps you reach agreements, but does not analyse finances or give legal advice. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst models the tax, cash flow, and long-term consequences of the options on the table. Coup...
by Liesel Darby, M.Ed., M.A., CC - Divorce Mediator & Certified Divorce Coach
Two Words for the Same Moment
Consider the word "chaos." The images that come to my mind all have speed in them. Something happened fast, out of the blue, and your world is suddenly upside down. Chaos is the opposite of ...
Yes, and it is more achievable than most people expect. An amicable divorce does not mean you like each other or agree on much. It means you handle the process without going to war: talking directly instead of through attorneys, keeping the decisions with you rather than a judge, and choosing repeat...
Online divorce mediation works the same way as in-person mediation, over video instead of in a room. A neutral mediator facilitates the conversation, screens are shared so you can see the agreement being built in real time, and sessions can be scheduled outside standard office hours. For most couple...
If you're wondering how to keep your house in a divorce, you're not alone. A lot of our clients have sentimental attachments to their homes. Your home is where you’ve made so many memories. It's where you raised your family. You may have close relationships with your neighbors or other strong ties t...
When you are going through a divorce, you hear a lot of things. From well-meaning friends who went through their own messy split five years ago, from that one aunt who knows somebody who knows somebody, from late-night Google rabbit holes that send you spiraling.
The problem is that when the same th...
Pre-mediation coaching is structured preparation before you sit down to mediate: understanding what will actually happen, deciding what you want and what you can trade, and building the skills to stay regulated when the conversation gets hard. It is usually one or two sessions in the week beforehand...
Raise mediation at a calm moment, not in the middle of a conflict. Lead with what your spouse gains rather than what you want: lower cost, more control, and privacy. Keep the first ask short and make it a question rather than a decision you have already taken. If direct conversation reliably goes ba...
Most divorce mediations take two to four two-hour sessions, following an initial orientation session where the process is explained and both parties sign the agreement to mediate. Calendar time depends far more on how quickly you can both get in the room than on the number of sessions. Couples who s...
Divorce mediation is likely to work for you if both of you can stay civil in communication, are willing to disclose finances fully, and share some commitment to settling rather than fighting. You do not need to agree on the terms. That is what mediation is for. What you do need is a shared willingne...
Bring three years of tax returns, recent pay stubs, and current statements for every bank, investment, retirement, and loan account, plus mortgage statements, insurance and annuity policies, Social Security estimates, and profit and loss statements for any business. Organise them in one place before...
