How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

When I first meet with couples seeking mediation for their divorce, I find that many have the same questions. One common question is how long divorce mediation will take to complete. Divorce mediation work involves a series of voluntary and confidential sessions between spouses and a mediator, where legal representatives are typically absent. It’s a tricky question to answer since many factors contribute to the completion of divorce mediation.

Introduction to Divorce Mediation

First things first. What is divorce mediation? It's a process where a neutral third-party, known as a divorce mediator, helps divorcing couples reach a mutually acceptable agreement on the terms of their divorce. This process is a cost-effective and efficient way to resolve disputes, avoiding the need for a litigated divorce. The goal of divorce mediation is to facilitate communication and negotiation between the two spouses, resulting in a fair and reasonable divorce settlement. A good divorce mediator will provide a safe and neutral environment for the couple to discuss and resolve their issues, including child custody, child support, and complex financial issues.

The Divorce Mediation Process

Our divorce mediation process typically involves several mediation sessions, each lasting around two hours. During these sessions, your mediator will facilitate a productive conversation, helping you to identify and resolve your disputes. Your mediator will also provide information and guidance on the divorce process. You and your spouse will have the opportunity to discuss and negotiate the terms of your divorce, including the division of marital property, spousal support, and parenting time.

6 Factors that Determine How Long Divorce Mediation Takes

Most of the divorce mediations that I handle take two to four, two-hour mediation sessions to resolve all the issues that need to be resolved. This is after we meet together for a mediation orientation session. In the orientation, I discuss the mediation process and both parties sign the agreement to mediate. Here are the six factors that will determine how long a divorce mediation takes.

1. How long you've each had the opportunity to process the idea of terminating the  marriage

It’s common for one party to have significantly more time to contemplate the end of a marriage than the other party. Usually, the party who asks for the divorce has had time to process the implications. If one party is just now realizing the marriage is over or still has hope that it’s not, the mediation will take longer. That’s because the parties are using the time to process the divorce rather than resolve the issues that need to be settled. Addressing these emotional barriers is crucial for moving forward toward a healthier and more productive future.

If you are having a hard time processing the emotional aspects of your divorce and still want to move forward with mediation in a productive way, consider engaging in some professional support. Counseling is a good way to process the past while a Divorce Coach can help you focus on creating a future that you’re excited about.

2. How prepared you are

The more prepared you are to discuss the issues that need to be discussed, the less time it will take to discuss them. When I say prepared, I mean a few things. One, you’ll want to have all background information organized and reviewed in advance of the mediation. For example, if you are going to be negotiating the equity in the house, have the house appraised prior to the mediation session. Also, have the most recent copy of the mortgage statement available if there is still a mortgage on the home.

It is crucial to gather and review all relevant financial documents before mediation. Accurate financial records will help you understand your financial situation and facilitate transparent discussions during mediation sessions.

If you are thinking you would like to stay in the house and will need to refinance in order to be able to do so, speak to a mortgage lender so you know what your options are.

Being prepared also involves brainstorming solutions for each issue that needs to be resolved. Notice that I said to brainstorm solutions and not to just focus on what you want the outcome to be. I often ask my clients to consider mediation to be similar to a giant puzzle. In order to get all of the pieces to fit together, we need to get creative.

Brainstorming solutions that could work ahead of time will make your mediation session more productive.

When your marriage is ending and both of you are going your separate ways, you might consider mediation.

Related post: How to Prepare for Mediation: Divorce Mediation Checklist

3. The complexity of the issues that need to be discussed

Some issues are just more complicated than others. Family businesses in which both parties are involved tend to require more discussion. Additionally, some parenting-related issues are more complicated than others. For example, if you have a child with special needs that requires a lot of support services, your parenting plan may be more complicated than the average parenting plan. Thus, it could take longer to discuss the issues that need to be addressed.

Custody issues, in particular, present significant challenges during mediation. Addressing these issues effectively is crucial to ensure the well-being of children and to facilitate healthier outcomes for families.

4. How willing you both are to compromise

Mediation is a great process for families. It gives you control over the outcome rather than giving that control over to the courts. Still, you have to be willing to compromise in order to come to a settlement agreement. Without that willingness, the process can drag on indefinitely. Crafting effective and binding agreements through compromise is essential for ensuring compliance and addressing the respective needs of both spouses post-divorce.

5. The mediator's skill level

As with any profession, some mediators are more experienced in handling certain issues than others. Working with a well-trained mediator experienced with cases like yours can help your mediation sessions progress more quickly. Most mediators have an online presence, making it easier to research and choose an experienced mediator. An experienced mediator knows how to ask good questions and really listens to both parties. He or she can help parties see where there is common ground when they thought there wasn’t any. When parties have a common understanding, they are often more willing to compromise.

6. Scheduling/availability to meet

To accommodate busy schedules, I offer virtual mediation, so couples can meet via videoconference instead of in person. Still, people are busy, and if they cannot (or choose not to) find time to meet, the mediation process does take longer. There is no momentum if there are long periods of time between appointments, and sometimes it can feel like we are starting over each time we meet.

Most of the mediations that I handle are scheduled in two-hour blocks. We can cover quite a bit in those two hours. I find that many clients begin to get tired after about two hours, and the session becomes less productive if we continue when people are worn out.

Sometimes when couples travel a significant distance to work with me in person, I will allow sessions to go longer to limit their need to return.

Click here to learn more about our divorce mediation services.

Benefits of Working with a Divorce Mediator

Working with a divorce mediator can have numerous benefits for couples going through a divorce. One of the primary advantages is the cost-effectiveness of the process. Divorce mediation is often significantly less expensive than a litigated divorce, saving the couple a substantial amount of money. Additionally, divorce mediation can be a faster and more efficient process, allowing the couple to move forward with their lives sooner. The process also provides the couple with more control over the outcome, allowing them to create their own agreement rather than having a court impose a decision. Furthermore, divorce mediation can be less stressful and emotionally draining than a litigated divorce, which can be beneficial for couples with children involved. Overall, working with divorce mediators can be a positive and empowering experience for couples, allowing them to take control of their divorce and create a fair and reasonable agreement.

How Our Financial Analysts Can Help Improve Your Mediation Outcomes

A key to maximizing the efficacy of your mediation is preparation. By ensuring you’re well-equipped with knowledge, you can make the most of your time and efforts. We’re here to provide clarity on potential financial outcomes, preparing you to negotiate your financial settlement with confidence. Disclosing complete financial information is crucial for successful mediation, as it builds trust and ensures transparency between the spouses. Reach out to us and discover how collaborating with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) before and during mediation can simplify decisions and reduce stress throughout the process.