The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
Congratulations on setting up your first session with a divorce coach! That took some courage—many people never even acknowledge that they could use some help to get through this very challenging time and needlessly suffer in silence. You, however, took steps to actually do something about it. Now ...
by Liesel Darby, M.Ed., M.A., CC - Divorce Mediator & Certified Divorce Coach
Two Words for the Same Moment
Consider the word "chaos." The images that come to my mind all have speed in them. Something happened fast, out of the blue, and your world is suddenly upside down. Chaos is the opposite of ...
by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach
What do the following have in common?
- You’re in the grocery store, looking for your favorite brand of stone-ground mustard, only to find that they no longer carry it. The replacement brand is twice the price, and you don’t like the packaging either.
- Yo...
by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach
Growing up, you likely heard others, at some point, say the “F- word”, and it wasn’t’ “fudge.” It was a taboo word and could possibly land you with a bar of soap in your mouth. In this blog we will discuss a different “F-word”, and it still isn’t “fudge”, ...
by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach
Divorce—a stark winter landscape where the familiar, leaf-laden trees of love and partnership are suddenly bare. But what if I told you that beneath that ice lies seeds of resilience waiting to sprout? Just as the arrival of spring heralds rebirth and new b...
Communicating with a difficult ex works best when you stop trying to change them and start controlling your own side of it. Keep responses brief, factual, friendly and firm. Answer only what was actually asked. Do not defend yourself against bait. Move the conversation to a documented platform if it...
If you’re searching for a divorce support group, I get it. You’re looking for people who understand what you’re going through. The sleepless nights. The financial overwhelm. The grief that hits you out of nowhere in the middle of a random Tuesday.
You’re not wrong for wanting that. In fact, reachin...
It's the New Year! Now what?
Post by Liesel Darby, Divorce Coach & Mediator
The New Year is all about starting fresh, starting over, moving forward. Unless you happen to have a giant shiny red REFRESH button to hit on January 1, some intentional pondering must happen before any changes are made. I...
Experiencing a divorce is undeniably one of life's most difficult challenges, often leaving individuals feeling isolated and bewildered. However, imagine having a steadfast companion who could accompany you on this journey, offering expert guidance, emotional solace, and a remarkable sense of commun...
If you are divorcing a narcissist, you already know that this is not a normal divorce.
Normal divorce is hard. Divorcing a narcissist is something else entirely. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the hidden assets, the refusal to settle reasonably, the way they can make you question your own memory...
Divorce after 50 is not just a legal and financial event. It is a life earthquake.
You are dismantling a life you built over decades. Your social circle may split. Your identity as part of a couple changes overnight. The future you planned together suddenly needs to be rebuilt from scratch — on you...
This blog post was written by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach.
Have you ever noticed the incredible relief that comes from realizing you are not alone in your struggles? Knowing that others have faced similar challenges can be immensely comforting, especially when it feels like your loved on...
