The Intentional Divorce Library

Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.

No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.

Not sure where to start?

Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.

Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.

Your Mother Was Right—the “F-word” Isn’t Nice divorce coach divorce support groups preparing for divorce

by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach

Growing up, you likely heard others, at some point, say the “F- word”, and it wasn’t’ “fudge.” It was a taboo word and could possibly land you with a bar of soap in your mouth.  In this blog we will discuss a different “F-word”, and it still isn’t “fudge”, b...

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How to Communicate with a Difficult Ex-Spouse co-parenting divorce coach divorce support groups kids and divorce life after divorce preparing for divorce

Communicating with a difficult ex works best when you stop trying to change them and start controlling your own side of it. Keep responses brief, factual, friendly and firm. Answer only what was actually asked. Do not defend yourself against bait. Move the conversation to a documented platform if it...

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How to Protect Yourself Financially When Divorcing a Narcissist asset division certified divorce financial analyst co-parenting divorce coach divorce financial planning financial abuse kids and divorce life after divorce ohio divorce preparing for divorce

If you are divorcing a narcissist, you already know that this is not a normal divorce.

Normal divorce is hard. Divorcing a narcissist is something else entirely. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the hidden assets, the refusal to settle reasonably, the way they can make you question your own memory...

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Divorce After 50: Challenges and Survival Tips for a Gray Divorce alimony/spousal support certified divorce financial analyst divorce after 50 divorce coach divorce financial planning gray divorce life after divorce ohio divorce preparing for divorce

Divorce after 50 is not just a legal and financial event. It is a life earthquake.

You are dismantling a life you built over decades. Your social circle may split. Your identity as part of a couple changes overnight. The future you planned together suddenly needs to be rebuilt from scratch — on you...

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Healing After Divorce: Why Community Is the Missing Piece divorce coach divorce support groups life after divorce preparing for divorce

This blog post was written by Liesel Darby, Mediator & Divorce Coach.

Have you ever noticed the incredible relief that comes from realizing you are not alone in your struggles? Knowing that others have faced similar challenges can be immensely comforting, especially when it feels like your loved one...

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After Divorce Checklist: The Essential Steps to Take Once Your Divorce Is Final budgeting certified divorce financial analyst financial planning health insurance life after divorce life insurance ohio divorce preparing for divorce qdro retirement accounts in divorce taxes

Your divorce is final. You made it through.

Now comes the part nobody warned you about — the long list of practical things that need to happen before your new life actually starts. Accounts to close. Documents to update. Insurance to sort out. A budget that reflects your real life now, not the one y...

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Filing Taxes During a Divorce: What You Need to Know alimony/spousal support certified divorce financial analyst child support divorce after 50 divorce financial planning going through divorce gray divorce life after divorce preparing for divorce taxes

Taxes are probably the last thing you want to think about when you are in the middle of a divorce. But getting this wrong can cost you real money. And the rules are more nuanced than most people realize.

I get tax questions from clients constantly, especially around filing status. So let me walk thr...

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Online Divorce Mediation: How Virtual Sessions Actually Work co-parenting collaborative divorce divorce mediation going through divorce mediation ohio divorce mediation preparing for divorce

Online divorce mediation works the same way as in-person mediation, over video instead of in a room. A neutral mediator facilitates the conversation, screens are shared so you can see the agreement being built in real time, and sessions can be scheduled outside standard office hours. For most couple...

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5 Ways to Keep Your Divorce from Affecting Your Job career preparing for divorce

Divorce is one of the top 10 stressors we can face, and it impacts every aspect of our lives, including our professional career. So, how can you continue to be productive as you're going through this huge life change that is likely causing you stress and consuming your thoughts? We've put together a...

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Divorce and the Family Home (Guest Blog Post) divorce mediation going through divorce house in a divorce preparing for divorce property division in divorce

If you're wondering how to keep your house in a divorce, you're not alone. A lot of our clients have sentimental attachments to their homes. Your home is where you’ve made so many memories. It's where you raised your family. You may have close relationships with your neighbors or other strong ties t...

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Splitting by Bill Eddy: A CDFA's Review (And What It Gets Right About High-Conflict Divorce) books for divorce divorce coach divorcing a narcissist financial abuse preparing for divorce

Since I started supporting people through divorce, I have been amazed at the extremes I have witnessed. Some clients start out pursuing an amicable end to their marriage only to be pulled into a high-conflict situation by their soon-to-be ex. Others are furious when they first reach out, then find h...

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How to Prepare Well for a Smooth Divorce preparing for divorce

To ensure a smooth divorce process, some people think you need to have the best lawyer, a negotiation coach, or for your ex to give you everything you asked for without question. And while those things will make the divorce process easier and more pleasant, they only come after having this one thing...

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