The Intentional Divorce Library
Divorce comes with more financial questions than anyone expects. This is where you'll find real answers on asset division, budgeting, retirement, and the mistakes that quietly cost women the most, written by a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who has helped clients navigate exactly what you're facing now.
No fluff, no fear tactics. Just the information you need to make clear-eyed decisions and protect the life you're building next.
Not sure where to start?
Every article here is written for a particular moment. Start with the stage that matches where you are, and you will find the handful of pieces that actually apply to you.
- I am considering divorce. Can I afford it, what happens to the house, what should I know before talking to an attorney.
- I am preparing for divorce. Documents, credit, insurance, retirement accounts, and choosing your professional team.
- I am going through divorce. The house, support, dividing retirement, QDROs, taxes, and evaluating a settlement.
- My divorce is final. Retitling assets, confirming the QDRO, beneficiaries, rebuilding cash flow and credit.
Browsing by topic instead? Every category is listed in the sidebar, from QDROs and the family home to co-parenting and life after divorce.
Most jurisdictions have no spousal support calculator, so in mediation the number is negotiated rather than computed. The analysis starts with what the recipient needs and what the payor can afford, both established from a detailed look at income and expenses. From there, four things have to be sett...
This is part of a 3-part series on what women wish they knew before their divorce. You're reading: Part 3 Also in this series: Part 1 covers insurance, process, relationships, and self-care | Part 2 covers what to put in your divorce decree, plus college, agreements, exhaustion, and mindset
Divorce...
This is part of a 3-part series on what women wish they knew before their divorce. You're reading: Part 2 Also in this series: Part 1 covers insurance, process, relationships, and self-care | Part 3 covers mediation, priorities, state laws, and happiness
The things people most often wish they had...
A full business valuation is not always necessary in divorce mediation. Depending on the business, four lower-cost alternatives can produce a number both spouses will accept: confirming whether the business has separable value at all, using comparable sale prices, appraising capital equipment, or re...
Pre-mediation coaching is structured preparation before you sit down to mediate: understanding what will actually happen, deciding what you want and what you can trade, and building the skills to stay regulated when the conversation gets hard. It is usually one or two sessions in the week beforehand...
Raise mediation at a calm moment, not in the middle of a conflict. Lead with what your spouse gains rather than what you want: lower cost, more control, and privacy. Keep the first ask short and make it a question rather than a decision you have already taken. If direct conversation reliably goes ba...
Most divorce mediations take two to four two-hour sessions, following an initial orientation session where the process is explained and both parties sign the agreement to mediate. Calendar time depends far more on how quickly you can both get in the room than on the number of sessions. Couples who s...
To keep your emotions from running a mediation session: show up rested and fed, know in advance which topics set you off, focus on the facts when you feel yourself escalating, ask for a break before you need one, listen actively enough to repeat back what your spouse said, and keep your long-term pr...
Divorce mediation is likely to work for you if both of you can stay civil in communication, are willing to disclose finances fully, and share some commitment to settling rather than fighting. You do not need to agree on the terms. That is what mediation is for. What you do need is a shared willingne...
I strongly believe in the benefits of choosing mediation for your divorce but it's also important to understand the challenges and prepare for those. The decisions made in mediation can significantly impact your life for years to come. With that in mind, it can be easy to become overwhelmed during t...
Mediation usually stalls for emotional reasons rather than practical ones. Daniel Shapiro of the Harvard International Negotiation Program identifies five traps that pull people into a "me versus you" mindset: vertigo, where the past feels like the present; taboos, the things nobody will name; repet...
A parenting plan should cover the regular schedule, holidays and special occasions, school breaks and sick days, travel, decision-making authority, healthcare, education, expenses, and how the two of you will communicate. The clauses people most often leave out, and later wish they hadn't, are the r...