Parenting Plan Checklist: What to Include

A parenting plan should cover the regular schedule, holidays and special occasions, school breaks and sick days, travel, decision-making authority, healthcare, education, expenses, and how the two of you will communicate. The clauses people most often leave out, and later wish they hadn't, are the right of first refusal, how new partners get introduced, what happens if one parent wants to move, and how the plan gets reviewed as the children grow.

I often find myself sitting in mediation with couples looking for guidance on creating a parenting plan. The beauty of mediation is that you can build a plan that works for your children and your family. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. That said, there are elements that, practically speaking, you will want to address.

What is a shared parenting plan?

A shared parenting plan is a written document detailing how you will co-parent. If you take the time to think through the challenges that may arise, it removes a great deal of stress from co-parenting later. It's a guidebook you write for yourselves.

There is a Shared Parenting Agreement that ultimately gets filed with the court. In mediation, though, we can also work through obstacles that are not within the court's jurisdiction, which is where a lot of the real value sits. A well-considered plan can substantially reduce future conflict.

The parenting plan checklist

The essentials

• Parenting schedule and exchanges
• Holidays
• Birthdays and special occasions
• School breaks, sick days, and vacations
• Travel
• Decision-making authority
• Healthcare
• Education
• Discipline
• Financial responsibilities
• Communication between the two of you

The ones people forget

• Right of first refusal
• Contact with the child during the other parent's time
• Introducing new partners
• Relocation
• Extracurricular activities and who commits to them
• Phones, screens, and social media
• Religion
• Access to school and medical records
• How and when the plan gets reviewed
• How you'll resolve a disagreement about the plan itself

The essentials, in detail

Parenting schedule and exchanges

Who has the children and when? Clients often tell me this will vary with work schedules and other commitments, and I understand that. The point is to create structure and routine, because that is what prevents conflict later. Agree something, then agree separately how you'll handle adjustments to it.

Don't skip the logistics of the exchange itself: who drives, whether you meet somewhere neutral or do drop-off at one home and pick-up from the other, and what time. Vague handoff arrangements generate a surprising amount of friction.

For the shape of the rotation itself, our co-parenting schedule guide compares 2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, 3-4-4-3, alternating weeks, and every-other-weekend, including which ages each tends to suit.

Holidays

Which family traditions matter most to each of you? Keep those in mind as you work out who has the children on which holiday. If you both have traditions on the same day, can you split it, with lunch at one house and dinner at the other? Many families alternate certain holidays year to year instead.

Our holiday survival guide covers the four common approaches in more detail.

Birthdays and special occasions

Consider the children's birthdays and your own. Talk about family parties, graduations, and other milestones. Depending on your children's ages, this section may need to flex considerably over the years. What matters most is agreeing how you'll communicate about these events, and accepting that both of you will need to be flexible at times. Not always conveniently.

School breaks, sick days, and vacations

Once your children are school-age: what happens on teacher in-service days, snow days, and school vacations? What about when a child is ill and cannot go to school? Who takes the day, and does it change whose parenting time it is?

Travel

For some families travel is a major topic and for others it barely comes up. Do you travel for work, and has that been factored into the schedule? Do you plan to take the children on trips? How far in advance does the other parent need to know? Are there restrictions on destinations, on international travel, or on who else can travel with the children? Who holds the passports?

Decision-making authority

This is distinct from the schedule and it is worth being explicit about. Who decides on major questions of education, healthcare, and religion? Are those joint decisions, or does one parent have final say in particular areas?

Agreeing this in advance prevents the situation where both parents believe they hold the deciding vote on something that matters a great deal.

Healthcare

Who carries the children on their medical insurance? Who makes major medical decisions, and how are they consulted? Who can authorise emergency treatment? How are unexpected medical expenses handled, and what happens with ongoing treatment such as orthodontics or therapy?

Education

Will one parent take the lead on education or will you share it? Will you both attend parent-teacher conferences? How are report cards shared? What is the approach to public versus private schooling, and who pays if the answer is private?

Discipline

Have the two of you been on the same page about discipline? If not, this conversation matters more than most. Even if you have been aligned, expectations shift as children get older. Agree not only how you'll handle discipline but how you'll communicate about it going forward.

Financial responsibilities

Everyday costs are generally covered by child support. What about everything else: medical expenses, extracurriculars, activities, devices, driving?

Specify the split, the process, and the timing. Will one parent consult the other before committing to an expense, and above what amount? How is the request made? How long does each parent have to pay their share? We go through the clauses that prevent these disputes in splitting kids' expenses after divorce.

Communication between the two of you

Even the best plan requires flexibility and communication. How will you raise questions and concerns, through what channel, and how often? What counts as urgent? A co-parenting app is worth considering if communication is already difficult.

The clauses people forget

These are the ones I most often see missing, and the ones that generate the calls two years later.

Right of first refusal

If one parent cannot be with the children during their scheduled time, must they offer that time to the other parent before arranging childcare? If so, above what length of absence? Three hours and overnight are very different thresholds, and leaving it unstated causes real resentment.

Contact during the other parent's time

Can the children call the other parent whenever they like? Is there a scheduled call? Is video calling at bedtime expected or optional? For younger children especially, this needs saying out loud.

Introducing new partners

This one is uncomfortable to discuss during a divorce and enormously helpful later. How long should a relationship last before the children meet someone? How much notice does the other parent get? When, if ever, does a new partner stay overnight while the children are there? Agreeing a principle now is far easier than negotiating it in the moment.

Relocation

What happens if one parent wants to move, whether across town or across the country? How much notice is required, and how will the schedule be reworked? Court rules apply here too, so this is one to raise with your attorney, but having a shared expectation helps.

Extracurricular activities

Who can sign a child up for something, particularly when it commits the other parent's time or money? Travel sports are the classic example: they consume weekends belonging to both parents and cost a great deal. Agree how activities get chosen, not just who pays.

Phones, screens, and social media

At what age does a child get a phone? Who pays for it? Are screen time rules consistent across both homes? Can either parent post photographs of the children publicly? This barely registered as a topic a decade ago and is now among the most common sources of disagreement.

Religion

If the two of you practise differently, or if one of you does and the other doesn't, how will the children be raised? Which observances will they attend, and with whom?

Access to records

Both parents generally have the right to school and medical records, but it is worth stating explicitly, including who is listed as an emergency contact and who receives communications from the school.

Review and modification

A plan written for a four-year-old will not fit a fourteen-year-old. Build in a review, whether annually or at natural transitions such as starting middle school or high school. Making review a normal scheduled event rather than an accusation changes the whole tenor of the conversation.

How you'll resolve a disagreement

When you cannot agree on something the plan does not cover, what then? Many families agree to return to mediation before either of them files anything. That single clause can save a great deal of money and considerable damage.

Frequently asked questions

What should be included in a parenting plan?

At minimum: the regular schedule and exchange logistics, holidays, birthdays, school breaks and sick days, travel, decision-making authority, healthcare, education, discipline, financial responsibilities, and how the two of you will communicate. Strong plans also cover right of first refusal, new partners, relocation, activities, devices, and how the plan gets reviewed.

What is the best 50/50 parenting schedule?

It depends on your children's ages, how close you live, and how well you communicate. 2-2-3 suits younger children who struggle with long gaps, 5-2-2-5 works well for school-age children because weekdays stay fixed, and alternating weeks generally suits teenagers. Our schedule guide compares them.

How detailed should a parenting plan be?

More detailed where conflict is likely, less where you trust each other. A high-conflict situation benefits from precision, because ambiguity becomes an argument. Amicable co-parents often prefer flexibility. Be honest about which you are, rather than which you hope to be.

Can a parenting plan be changed later?

Yes, by agreement, and most court orders contain language allowing the two of you to vary arrangements if you both consent. Formal modifications generally need to be documented properly. Ask your attorney what applies in your case.

What happens if my co-parent won't follow the plan?

Document what is happening, keep your own communication calm and factual, and speak with your attorney about enforcement. Where the problem is a genuine disagreement rather than defiance, mediation is usually faster and cheaper than returning to court.

A plan that works for your family

This checklist is a starting point rather than an exhaustive list. The advantage of mediation is that it gives you control: you make these decisions around your children's needs, rather than having a court decide how you'll parent. It also pushes you to think long term.

I got divorced when my children were young, and my ex and I still have many years of co-parenting ahead of us. Your plan will not be perfect and it will not anticipate everything. It can still give you a solid framework for decisions and a much calmer few years than the alternative.

Related reading: Co-parenting after divorce: 10 strategies that work and how to de-escalate co-parenting conflict.

Preparing for mediation

A key to getting the most out of mediation is preparation. Walking in clear on what you want, what you can trade, and what the financial picture actually looks like makes the time far more productive.

That is where working with a CDFA before and during mediation helps: clarity on the financial outcomes, so you can negotiate your settlement with confidence rather than guesswork.

Schedule a complimentary consultation or learn more about our mediation services.

Intentional Divorce Solutions provides divorce financial planning, mediation, and coaching. We are not a law firm and we do not provide legal advice. This checklist is general education. Some content refers to Ohio practice and may not apply in your state.

Last reviewed: August 2026