When I was dealing with my breakup, I felt a wide range of emotions - everything from sadness to shame to anger and back again. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. On my best days, I wasn't being very kind to myself and on my worst days, I was my own worst enemy.
When you're dealing with a breakup, some days are just plain rough. Maybe you didn't sleep well and you start the day off grumpy and things only get worse from there. You spill your coffee on yourself on the way to work or the traffic’s terrible. You’re late for your meeting, no time for lunch and you wish you’d spent the day in bed.
When you are already emotional from the changes in your life, every little thing that goes wrong can feel much bigger than it is. If you’re having a terrible day, stop for a minute, take a deep breath and take some time out to be kind to yourself. You can’t undo the bad things that have already happened, but you can turn around your bad day right now. Here are four simple things you can do to be kind to yourself and stop that rough day in its tracks.
When everything seems to be going wrong, you can stop that negative spiral by taking a break. Get out of the office if you can, go and do some deep breathing in the park or even look out of the window for a few minutes. A change of scenery can often work wonders.
Practice some deep breathing and maybe have an herbal tea or a glass of water. If you have the time, adult coloring books are a great way to calm and focus your mind. Implement anything that makes you feel better and more in control.
If your day is going from bad to worse, give yourself something to look forward to. Make a plan to do something luxurious and relaxing. You might take a long bath with the good bath oil, splurge on takeout for dinner, book a weekend away or set up dinner with a friend. When I was dealing with my breakup, a nice relaxing bubble bath was my go-to after the kids went to sleep. Whatever you choose, make sure it's something that will relax you, not become another chore.
Take a moment to consider how you’re talking to yourself. Are you beating yourself up about your divorce? Do the words ‘you always’ or ‘you never’ crop up in your self-talk? Or maybe ‘you’re no good’, or ‘why can’t you’?
Reset your Inner Critic to your Inner Champion and turn that self-talk around. Would you talk to a friend like that? No way! Then be kind to yourself. Everyone has bad days, you need nurturing, not beating up!
Sometimes it can feel like an achievement to get through the day at all when you're dealing with a breakup. If you’re having a bad day, write down all of your wins, big and small. Focusing on the positive can really help to change your perception.
If you took the time to eat lunch, made it to the gym or yoga class, fed your family, and walked the dog, you are on a winning streak! Make it fun and pat yourself on the back for all the checks on your list. Make it even more fun by writing down the bad things that didn’t happen. You didn’t spill coffee on your boss; you didn’t miss the bus, you didn’t forget to pick up the kids.
Celebrate just getting through!
If you are struggling with your finances as it relates to your divorce, we highly recommend calling in a professional. Contact Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions today.