The other day, I was speaking with someone and a lot of emotions around the financial decisions of her divorce came up. There was a lot of fear, uncertainty, and a deep desire to “do it right.” What’s more, her soon-to-be ex-husband managed the money while she stayed at home with their children, so she’s uncomfortable making financial decisions for herself now.
She’s researched, but it’s left her even more confused. Where does she start? What’s important? Can she stay in her house? She doesn’t want the process to be litigious, but she wants to feel confident that she’s making the right decisions and doing the right thing.
I see that with a lot of couples who come to me. One person has managed the money throughout the life of the relationship and then, when a divorce or dissolution happens, the other partner has to quickly learn a lot of information to make big financial decisions.
There’s a lot of late nights spent researching, many “fancy” dinners that consist of eating whatever your kids left on their plates, and quiet crying after they’re asleep. At least, that’s what it looked like for me. I’m not saying this to gain pity or sympathy - I’m saying this because I truly understand the emotions you’re likely feeling around your divorce.
When I was going through my divorce, I tried so hard to get it right. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. There was no way I could anticipate and find helpful answers for a lot of the decisions I had to make. Googling and pulling together resources helped, absolutely. But they were bits of scattered info. In a time when I needed consistency for both my personal sanity and the health and mental wellbeing of my kids, inconsistent advice would not cut it!
If that is you, here is my advice: Going through a divorce the hard way is not the best way to go through it.
You’re stressed to the ceiling, the most unconfident you’ve ever been, and feeling like you should know more than you do. You absolutely should not have to worry about one more thing, like piecing together the right resources, support, and guidance.
I can completely understand and empathize. And that is exactly why I do what I do.
First of all, it’s okay you don’t know. Lots of people aren’t familiar with the process of divorce. Unfortunately, lots of people also want to share “advice” based on what they experienced. At the end of the day, every divorce is different. Please, don’t rely on second-hand information passed to you from your cousin’s friend by way of your aunt. I promise, that will only make you more confused!
The reality is that divorce is probably the largest financial transaction you’ve ever gone through in your life. And if you don’t have a clue about money, it’s going to be okay. That is why I am here. I work in this area day in and day out. I know what to look for, I know the questions to ask, and I am committed to being your guide through it all.
Here’s a basic breakdown of what support with me looks like around the financial decisions that come with your divorce...
We’ll first get a clear sense of what we’re talking about. Together, we’ll look at your financial situation and address concerns, questions, and things that need to be resolved. This strategy session sets the foundation of all your financial needs around your divorce. I’ll guide you through what papers you’ll need, how to separate retirement plans and savings, and help you organize it all.
From there, I’ll create a full support plan for you. We’ll dive into things like how to create a spending plan so you know exactly where your money stands, talk about investing or retirement savings so your financial future is secure, and look at immediate needs like if you can stay in our house, what to do about health insurance, and so forth.
All of this to say we will work so you have a clear picture of your finances and knowledge so you can take care of yourself and your family. Financial security goes a long way to feeling safe and this process will give you reassurance and eventually confidence back to know that you’ll be okay. And more than just being okay, you will be able to thrive because you have the information you need to make wise financial decisions.
At the end of our time together, you’ll know exactly where your numbers stand, what it all means, and how to make smart investments and decisions that will set you up to thrive in your future.
So, if you’re reading this and feeling all of the emotions of your divorce (the expectation, the fear, the exhaustion), I see you. And I’m here for you.
You’re making the absolute right step in trying to gather information to help you. You know where you lack education and information, so the smartest thing is reaching out to get help from someone who is trained to guide you through smart financial decisions.
Not only will that give you a solid touchpoint for unbiased, thoughtful advice and information, it will really help the emotions around your divorce. You’ll have someone who sees you and who knows what you’ve been through.
Most importantly, you’ll have someone who understands the complete picture of your divorce so you have consistent advice based on what you actually need. And so you don’t have to keep telling the story over and over to each new source you go to for help.
If you’d like support as you’re making financial decisions around your divorce and some help managing the emotions that come up during a divorce, reach out to me. You don’t have to go through this alone.