Could You Benefit from Discernment Counseling?

counseling divorce marriage Dec 24, 2019

Discernment counseling is a unique approach to helping couples decide what they should do about their marriage. While traditional couples’ therapy typically has an end goal of saving the marriage or saving the relationship, discernment counseling allows couples to work through different processes and determine if staying together is the right choice. 

Irreconcilable Differences

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons for divorce is irreconcilable differences. This is a common cause and probably one of the hardest hurdles to get over for people who are trying to save a marriage. If your partner is unwilling to work with you to even determine whether divorce is the right choice, discernment counseling might be the best way to go.

There are many issues that come up in marriage, from family life to finances and other stressors. Whether you and your partner handle these the same way can have an impact on the success of your marriage. If you feel your marriage is heading toward...

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7 Issues That Could Signal an Impending Divorce

Over the years of working with people going through a divorce, I've heard repeatedly that one of the parties was blindsided by the other spouse's request for a divorce. With that said, a relationship headed for an impending divorce will often show multiple signs of challenges and issues, if you're paying attention. 

7 issues that could signal an impending divorce:

1. You feel emotionally detached from your spouse.

One of the most frequent complaints is that love has faded.  Know that it's normal for relationships to change over time. Your love will also change. The first feeling of romance will turn into a deeper kind of love. However, it shouldn't disappear. A relationship that has lost its love altogether is in danger.

2. Mutual resentment has reached high levels.

Anger and resentment can do immense damage to a relationship. If you both resent each other, then it's a strong sign the marriage is in trouble.

3. You or your spouse criticize the other all the time....

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Talking to Your Family Members at the Holidays About Your Divorce

divorce mediation Dec 03, 2019

Telling parents about divorce can be hard enough. I have seen the tension in a divorce increase too many times as a result of meddling family members or friends. During the holidays, we tend to interact with family members and friends more than we do all year long, so there is even more opportunity for meddling than there typically is.

From my professional experience, it is so hard to watch when a couple has committed to handling their settlement in a mature and amicable way, but someone gets in one of their ears and tears the whole thing apart.

When I sit down with my clients who are going through mediation, I always encourage them to keep the conversations that happen in mediation in the mediation room. I know that when you're emotional, you may want to vent to a friend or a family member. However, divorce is a difficult process for everyone who is involved, and a meddling family member can make it even more complicated. 

Related post: How to Ask Your Spouse to...

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