Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor, and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce, finance and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention.
Leah Hadley [00:00:24]:
When I decided to start this podcast, I almost didn't. Not because I didn't have things to say, not because I didn't believe in the work, but because I had watched what happens in online spaces built around divorce, and quite frankly, I was afraid of what I might be stepping into. So if you've ever spent any time in a Facebook group for people going through divorce, you probably know exactly what I mean. There is so much pain in those spaces, and pain is contagious. You go in, you're looking for support, and sometimes you come out actually feeling heavier than when you started. People are dragging each other down and it's not always on purpose, but because grief can do that, right? Because when we're hurting, we sometimes pull toward the hurt and others instead of toward the hope. And I just didn't want to build that. I didn't want to create something that would cost me or cost you more energy than what it gave back.
Leah Hadley [00:01:22]:
So before I recorded even a single episode, before I chose a name, before I figured out what any of this would look like, I made a decision. A quiet, a deliberate, non negotiable decision. Whatever this was going to be, it was going to be something that was different. So welcome back to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm your host, Leah Hadley, and today we are celebrating episode one, 100. And I'll let that land for a second 100 episodes. And so I want to do something a little different today. No guest, no interview.
Leah Hadley [00:02:02]:
Just me, you, and a conversation that I've been thinking about for a while now about why I built this, what I have learned, and what a hundred episodes of talking about divorce has proven to me that I wasn't sure I believed when I started. So pour yourself something, get comfortable, stay with me. This one's going to be a little bit more personal. So let me take you back to the beginning. When the idea of a podcast first came up, my honest reaction was resistance. Not to podcasting itself, but to the subject matter, to talking about divorce. I kept turning the word over in my mind and just feel, feeling the weight of the word divorce. It's one of those words that arrives with so much already attached to it.
Leah Hadley [00:02:52]:
For some people, it's failure or loss or shame, conflict Certainly the end of something, right? And I thought, so do I really want to spend my time, my energy, my voice on something that carries so much weight? And I am somebody who is very intentional about protecting my energy. I have to be. I work with women every day who, quite frankly, are in some of the most painful seasons of their lives. And that is an absolute honor. But it also requires that I show up whole, that I don't try to pour from an empty cup, that I know where my limits are and that I respect them. So the question wasn't just whether I had something to say about divorce. The question was whether I could say it in a way that didn't just, like, slowly hallow me out. Whether I could build something that felt generative instead of depleting, right? Whether there was a version of this conversation that left people better off than it found them.
Leah Hadley [00:03:56]:
And the more I sat with that question, the more I realized that the answer wasn't just yes. The answer was that someone needed to build that. Because the alternative already exists, right? There's plenty of the alternative and just not. Not enough of. Of this, right? So here's what I've come to believe about divorce. After so many years of working with women, navigating it and 100 episodes, talking about it, and building an extensive website with lots and lots of content, divorce is a moment. It is a legal proceeding, a date on the calendar, a signature on a document. It is not, and I cannot emphasize this enough, it is not the sum total of who you are or what your life is going to be.
Leah Hadley [00:04:50]:
It is not a verdict on your worth or your choices or your capacity to love or to be loved. It's a moment. A hard one, absolutely a hard one. A consequential one for certain, but still a moment, right? It's also a process. Divorce is a process. It does not end when the paperwork does, the financial untangling, the identity reconstruction, the grief that moves through you in waves long after you thought maybe that you were done grieving. It all takes time, and that's okay. Healing is not linear, it's not fast, and it doesn't follow the timeline anyone else is going to set for you, Right? That process is really yours.
Leah Hadley [00:05:37]:
And divorce, as painful and disorienting as it may be, it really can also be an opportunity. And I know, I know that can sound tone deaf if you are in the middle of it, if you are sitting in a parking lot crying between appointments, I've been there. If you haven't slept properly in months, if you don't recognize your own life anymore. Now, I know opportunity may not be the word that comes to mind for you, but I have watched women come through this. I have sat across from people, I've talked with them and heard from them who are on the other side. And what I can tell you with complete conviction is that some of the most intentional, self aware, financially empowered, deeply alive women I have ever encountered are women who went through a divorce and came out knowing themselves in a way that they had never known before. Now, that's not a silver lining. It's a pattern.
Leah Hadley [00:06:43]:
And it's real. I see it all the time. Now, don't get me wrong, divorce is absolutely still a loss, and I'm never going to minimize that. Grief belongs in this conversation. It deserves to be honored and. And not rushed or bypassed, not performed for anybody else's comfort. The loss is real. Okay, but.
Leah Hadley [00:07:04]:
And this is important, a loss is not a failure. And that distinction, that honestly matters so much more than I can even begin to say now. My very first guest on the show was Joy Bartholomew. And Joy and I talked about how to reduce stress and improve outcomes during divorce, which, looking back on it, is such a perfect place to have started the podcast.
Leah Hadley [00:07:30]:
Right?
Leah Hadley [00:07:31]:
It's the whole thing. How do you move through something this hard and still come out on the other side, not just intact, but actually better? Right? How do you minimize the damage while maximizing what's possible? How do you make those good decisions when you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed, when you are grieving? I remember being so struck by Joy's warmth by the way she held such a difficult subject without letting it become the whole story. And I thought, yes, yes, this is exactly what I was hoping for. This is the conversation I wanted to be a part of. Now, what I didn't really know then was how many conversations like that were ahead of me. Over the course of 100 episodes, I have had the extraordinary good fortune of talking to some of the most remarkable people doing work in this space. Coaches, therapists, financial professionals, attorneys, mediators, authors, women who have lived it and come back to help others find their way through. Now, every single one of them brought something I couldn't have anticipated, right? A.
Leah Hadley [00:08:47]:
A reframe that I needed. A story that was really cracking something open for me, a reminder of exactly why I started this in the first place. Because here's what I've come to believe about the way we talk about divorce. It matters. The stories that we tell people, when they are in the middle of it, shape what they believe is possible. For them, a woman who is told, even implicitly, that divorce is the end of something will move through it very differently than a woman who is also told well, it may also be the beginning of something amazing. Now, a hundred episodes later, I believe that even more than I ever did. But here's what I didn't anticipate when I started.
Leah Hadley [00:09:36]:
I didn't anticipate you. And I don't mean you as a listener, although that has meant so much more to me than I even even know how to communicate. I mean, the community that grew around this work, and that's the Empowered Sisterhood. I was well into this podcast journey when the sisterhood came together. And I want to be honest about something. Even as someone who had built this show on the belief that you could hold hard seasons differently, I still had a quiet worry in the back of my mind. Would an online community centered on some of life's biggest transitions just become another version of what I had been so carefully trying to avoid? Would the pain pull toward just more pain? And what I have watched instead has absolutely moved me in ways that I genuinely did not expect. The Empowered Sisterhood is a community for women who are navigating major life changes.
Leah Hadley [00:10:45]:
Divorce, yes, but also all of the things that can come alongside it or after it. Career reinvention, financial rebuilding, figuring out who you are when the life you plan just doesn't exist anymore. And what I have watched in that space is women showing up with a kind of authenticity that takes my breath away. It's not performing wellness. It's not pretending the hard parts aren't hard, but also not staying there. It's holding the grief and the hope at the same time. It's asking the practical questions, but also the deeper ones that are underneath them. Who am I now? What do I actually want? What does my life look like if I build it on purpose? And that.
Leah Hadley [00:11:38]:
That's not a small thing, really. That's everything, right? Those women are the living proof of everything I was reaching for when I almost didn't start this podcast. They are what I hoped was possible, and they found each other, which is the part I could not have engineered or predicted or manufactured just happened because the intention was right and the space was safe. And women, when given a place to be fully themselves, they will show up fully every single time. So what do I want to say to you on episode 100? I want to say thank you genuinely for trusting me with this part of your life, for showing up. Whether you are in the middle of the hardest season, you've ever known, or you're on the other side of it and still just making sense of everything that happened. Just want to thank you for being here. I want to say that if you are in it right now, if this transition feels like a weight that you just can't put down, I really need you to hear this.
Leah Hadley [00:12:49]:
What you're going through is not the end of your story at the chapter. It's a hard chapter. But chapters end and what comes next, that has not yet been written. And the woman who writes it, she gets to decide what it says. So I want to say that the reframe is real. Yes, divorce is a moment. Yes, divorce is a process. It is.
Leah Hadley [00:13:16]:
And it can be, when you're ready, an opportunity. And the loss, as real and as valid as it is, it is not a failure. You are not a failure. Not even close. And I want to say that if you are looking for a place to move through this with women who get it, women who will hold space for the hardest parts without letting that be your whole story, the empowered sisterhood was built for you. It is honestly the thing that I'm most proud of. And the door is open. I will be sure to include all of the details in the show.
Leah Hadley [00:13:57]:
Notes 100 episodes when I almost didn't start, I could not have imagined any of this. The conversations, the guests, the community. You. And I have to say that I am so glad that I started. I'm so glad that you're here and I cannot wait to see what the next 100 look like. So thank you so much for listening to Intentional Divorce Insights and I will see you next week.
Leah Hadley [00:14:26]:
Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey. If you find our content helpful, please leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce. Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
