Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce, finance and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention. Welcome back to Intentional Divorce Insights. I am thrilled to introduce our guest today. Heather Quick is the founder and CEO of Florida's Women's law Group, which I think it's amazing that Florida has a women's law group, so I'm going to ask you about that for sure. That is a family law firm that is based in Jacksonville that serves women across Northeast Florida.
Leah Hadley [00:00:46]:
She focuses her work on guiding the firm's vision and long term direction, staying closely connected to its mission of supporting women through divorce and other family changes. Her role today blends leadership strategy and a deep commitment to to how the firm shows up for the people it serves. Her perspective is grounded in years of legal experience. She earned her law degree from Stetson University College of Law and began her career as a Prosecutor in Florida's 13th Circuit. She later worked in both family law and medical malpractice, including time in a family practice started by her uncle. In 2006, she opened her own firm drawing on what she had learned about responsibility, preparation and, and the real impact legal decisions have on family. Outside of her work, she is a certified yoga instructor, author and podcast host who values balance and community and she brings that steady reflective energy into everything she does. Welcome Heather.
Leah Hadley [00:01:42]:
Thank you so much for being with us.
Heather Quick [00:01:44]:
Oh, thank you, Leah, for having me. I appreciate it.
Leah Hadley [00:01:48]:
Absolutely. Now, I have had the pleasure of connecting with some of these law firms that serve women in different areas of the country. Most people are familiar that there is a, a large law firm that's focused on serving men throughout the country. And so I am just fascinated when I meet a firm and an attorney who serves women. Specifically how you decided that that was going to be your niche and kind of how you got into that.
Heather Quick [00:02:15]:
Absolutely. So it, you know, it wasn't at first, it was, you know, I was practicing family law and I was working with several business advisors and colleagues. I was really searching for what about the divorce practice, family law practice? Did I really enjoy what types of clients? When we have our own businesses, I think it's important to determine what clients do you like, what clients really kind of fuel your passion for your job. And, and I realized it was women. And the reason why is my mother was married and divorced three times and I Watched her go through that. Obviously, some of it, I was much younger. And then she did the same pattern most of the time until she did get a female lawyer, I think, with her third divorce. And she really fought for herself and actually believed that she was entitled to, to something out of that divorce financially.
Heather Quick [00:03:26]:
And I saw that pattern with many women through the practice, and I thought, you know, if I can give them the strength or allow them to lean on our firm to get them to that, you know, finish line, that does give them more than maybe they thought they were entitled to. It really fueled me as far as this is the type of practice I want to do. And so I began to make the transition to represent women only. And it has been amazing because we really do have a position, a point of view, and we stand for something which is we want to help women.
Leah Hadley [00:04:10]:
Fantastic. That's so wonderful. And it's so important when you are going through such a difficult time time to have somebody who understands what you're going through, has the clear mind to give you the good guidance that you need, and can really be your advocate. So that's fantastic. So, Heather, today we're talking about what does your divorce attorney want you to know before you file, before you even reach out to an attorney? What do you want people to know, Heather?
Heather Quick [00:04:41]:
And that is such a big question, right? But it's important. And a lot of these things are, these are ideals we do want them to know, but a lot of it in the divorce is a process, right. As far as your understanding and really figuring yourself out. So I think one of the biggest things that we talk about when we are meeting with women about the file for divorce is what do you want? Where do you see yourself in three to five years? And that may, on one hand, it may sound like a simple question, but it can be really overwhelming because women have, you know, they're in a marriage, whether the children are at home or not, or whether they have children, they have associated their identity as being a wife and being married. And it's really a full transition to where they are at the end of the divorce. And, you know, things aren't going to be the same. So it is important, I think, to begin to plant the seed. You know, where do you want to be? What does that look like for you? And I think that is some well spent time if women can really think about that.
Heather Quick [00:05:59]:
We have, we also have a journal that is available to women, you know, guided journal, to really start to think about that, even maybe before, maybe before you have fully decided on the divorce, but to get your thoughts down on paper over time, that's very helpful because then you, as one of our clients, can come in with an idea of where you want to be. And that is very important because we are going to work with our clients and to come up with a strategy to achieve your objectives. And everybody does say the finances. That's important. And it's helpful if you understand that it doesn't always happen and not everyone has access. But I think it's very important as well to get your own credit report that can provide you a lot of insight. And even if you don't know how to read it, your attorney can help you, your financial advisor can help you and begin moving in that direction, because we're trying to plan a strategy to help you achieve what you want. And if you haven't really spent the time to think about that, then we can't get you there as easily.
Leah Hadley [00:07:24]:
It's such an important point because so many people approach divorce with like, what am I entitled to? Or sort of like a reactive to that sort of education, but taking that step back before you even look at what am I entitled to? Or what is this process going to be looking like, but really thinking for yourself and providing yourself that. That insight around what do you want the next phase to look like that's so empowering to put yourself in that position because then you're in the driver's seat, right? Then it's not everything happening to you, but you have some control over the situation.
Heather Quick [00:07:58]:
Right. And allowing yourself to think about that. And, you know, most of us don't slow down enough most of the time to really think and even dream. And, you know, some things it can be. It can be very practical. Oftentimes we Jacksonville, we have several military bases. So many times people haven't been here. They're all like, they have family elsewhere and maybe they want to move back.
Heather Quick [00:08:29]:
That is a huge thing we need to know, because if you're wanting to relocate, we need to know at the beginning, and we can lay out scenarios where it will be possible. And it might not be possible, but I think for clients, they need to understand that women need that reality of their situation. They may say, well, this. I want this much money, you know, 80% of the time with my children and all these things. And it's important for the attorney to know that because we want to know where you're starting and what's in your thought process. And then we can start to take what you've talked about as far as Your objectives, your goals, and the facts of your case. The reality of Florida law. And now we can have a really productive conversation that helps us understand where you are in your frame of reference, in your state of mind, as far as where you'll end up after all of this.
Leah Hadley [00:09:35]:
Yeah, absolutely. Now, you mentioned the reality of Florida law. And I think a lot of people, there's a lot of confusion out there because people do so much research online that a lot of times they may be reading a legal blog from a different state or something that's not relevant for their situation. And there can be a lot of confusion. I'm wondering if there are any specific laws around property division or spousal support in Florida that tend to surprise people.
Heather Quick [00:10:05]:
So I, I think that the, you know, let's talk about property division first. It's. We, we operate under separate property, not community property. Other states do community property. And really what that means is if you had something before the marriage, then we'll call that premarital. That's your own under most circumstances. Right. Everything depends.
Heather Quick [00:10:30]:
And, you know, everything that is earned and, or in, you know, indebted during the marriage is going to be marital. And so what the courts do, what the law says is going to be equitably distributed. And what that doesn't mean is for the, you know, most people, oh, well, then it'll be fair. That's not. That doesn't mean the same thing, but it's supposed to be equitable and ideally end up on a 50, 50, you know, thinking in terms of a spreadsheet. And it adds up. Everybody's column is going to be close to equal. And that does surprise many women.
Heather Quick [00:11:10]:
They think they should get more, entitled to more. And there are, there's case law. There are areas and situations where that can happen, but it's good to understand the majority of cases. That's the way it's going to be. And the good news is, many women are surprised to hear that their husband's retirement or pension is marital, because I think any women listening will know their husband's like, well, that's my retirement. I did this, I did that. And it does have your name on it and your business, but it is going to be marital, as is the woman's retirement pension, you know, whatever she's got through her employer. And those then if they're equal, it's easy.
Heather Quick [00:11:59]:
Each keeps their own. But oftentimes they're not. And so we have to move the numbers around. How do we make it equal? And that's a Big thing that I think people are surprised about and that we're doing that division before then we get into support and because, as you know, Leah, assets are treated differently and they have different effects.
Leah Hadley [00:12:29]:
Absolutely. And I know that support has been an issue that's come up quite a bit over the years in Florida. Specifically. What. What are you seeing right now in terms of support negotiations?
Heather Quick [00:12:41]:
Well, it changed drastically a few years ago and it. We used to have, which I. I was a big proponent of the old law and was able to very successfully, you know, get awards from my clients. However, the end came and permanent alimony is no longer in existence in Florida. And it used to definitely be a type of alimony and it was awarded a lot in the circumstances that fit it and that is no longer there. And it is a, you know, a termination of the alimony at retirement. And we have a formula. So it did change drastically.
Heather Quick [00:13:27]:
It still exists. And it's going to really, it's so fact specific because, you know, oftentimes, and I'm sure you've heard this, you know, well, my best friend got blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's great. But now we've got to look at your financials, which may be different, probably are different, and your particular circumstances. So we just have to evaluate, based on your financial situation, the marital estate, what does it look like. And then, you know, we do have options and, you know, one big thing that we can talk about a little bit more. But Florida requires mediation, so it's not voluntary. I mean, I guess it's.
Heather Quick [00:14:16]:
It's not voluntary. It's court ordered. Everybody has to go. You know, we're hoping you're going to participate fully and voluntarily in that process. And most, mostly, almost everybody does. That's where you have an opportunity to get creative and achieve a divorce settlement that really fits both parties.
Leah Hadley [00:14:38]:
Yeah, absolutely. I think mediation gives people a lot more control over the outcome because they get a lot more input right into the process when they're in mediation. So that's very state specific. So just for those who are listening, you know, Heather is specifically speaking to some of the things that we've seen out of Florida over the last few years and specific laws. You know, she does have her practice in the state of Florida, and I'm emphasizing that because I see so many people getting confused online around hearing information from specific states. And so I want to make sure that we are very clear on the context that we're having this conversation. But a lot of what Heather started with is relevant for everybody right Getting clear on the vision for what we want, communicating to our attorneys what our wants and needs are so they can advocate for us in a way that is actually in alignment with where we're trying to go.
Heather Quick [00:15:31]:
Right, exactly. Because you can be in a situation where you have a very competent lawyer and they are doing the right thing. However, maybe they didn't ask you what you wanted. Right. And that wasn't part of the conversation. So at the end, you feel let down, like they didn't do for you what you thought, but there was a miscommunication in there and that. And that's just a terrible result because you need to have a lot of trust in your attorney. And if you don't, even if they do a great job, you may doubt it.
Heather Quick [00:16:11]:
And, you know, this is going to be a big event in your life. And, you know, separation and split of assets and determinations made about your children, all of these things will affect your future. So that trust and good communication with your attorney is really vital.
Leah Hadley [00:16:29]:
It absolutely is. Now, what are some of the biggest mistakes you see people making when they come to you after they've started the divorce process?
Heather Quick [00:16:40]:
Sometimes. Okay, so this. This one doesn't happen a lot, but it's happened enough that I feel like it's good to talk about here. You know, there are the cases where the husband and wife, they've had conversations and they've said, okay, this is how we're going to do things. And without having an attorney or really the advice, the wife, you know, she might agree, and that's one thing, but don't sign anything, even if it's not a formalized agreement. But if you sign something that is going to be relevant and they're going to push hard to make that settlement agreement. And it's really important if you don't fully understand the marital estate, meaning the finances, but also the law and what you are entitled to, because you might think, oh, that's really generous. That's really nice.
Heather Quick [00:17:34]:
And it's like, that's just the law. He didn't do anything different, and he actually gave you less than maybe you would have been entitled to. And it's okay if you agree to that, right? Because, you know, making educated decisions. I'm just a big, big believer in that. If. But if you don't know and you agree, I feel like then you are at a loss and you've been disadvantaged, which is, you know, not. Not great. And you're gonna wonder about that versus everything's laid out for you.
Heather Quick [00:18:03]:
You understand you're like, I understand I can get this or this, but I'm really okay over here. And this is where I want to settle. I think that's fine. It's again, having that education as far as what we've got, you know, what our assets are, what our liabilities are and the nature of all those things, because as we know, different, you know, where you live is different than investment accounts. And you don't want to trade all those investment accounts just for a house that maybe you can't afford and that's going to suck money out of you. And also, you know, what the debt and then how the law applies. Because what would be, I think it's always good to say, okay, that could be your best day in court. He's probably not going to agree it, but hey, if he's feeling really guilty and all that, that's great.
Heather Quick [00:18:49]:
We'll try to get him to agree to that. But you know, nobody really agrees generally to the other side's best day in court or their own worst day in court, because that's just not smart. This is a big decision that is going to affect you for the rest of your life. So if you don't have a clear understanding of how this might get handled if it were litigated and brought before a judge, then you really don't know. And that's not an educated decision.
Leah Hadley [00:19:19]:
Yeah, absolutely. I'm always shocked at how many people will start negotiations without even dollar values. Right. Like a lot of times people just kind of guess at the value of their house. And I can tell you I've had cases where people have been off by over $100,000. I mean, it's not insignificant. Right. And so making sure, just like you're talking about Heather, that we're coming from a place of being educated and informed and we know exactly what we're looking at.
Leah Hadley [00:19:45]:
I just did a review of somebody's proposal this morning and yeah, on paper it looked equal. It looked 50, 50 fine. But when I got into the accounts that were being divided, husband had awarded a lot of the after tax assets to himself and put a lot of the pre tax assets in wife's column. So sure, it looked like 50/50 on paper. But when we actually look at it in terms of an after tax value, it was a huge difference between the division that was being proposed. If you don't know, you don't know. Right. So it's so important.
Heather Quick [00:20:17]:
And before you said the taxes, that's what I was thinking because. And I'm not an accountant at all, but we know to have things looked at and know that different assets are treated differently. And then there are individuals who get after the door, say, why do I have this big tax liability? And I don't think he does. And the divorce doesn't say we're splitting it. And that's problematic.
Leah Hadley [00:20:42]:
Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. The tax situations that we've seen seems like quite a bit more just in the last couple of years, but sizable, sizable issues for sure. So for someone who isn't sure yet whether divorce is the right path, what would you tell them about how to kind of use this season of uncertainty wisely? Like, if they're kind of thinking about it, maybe they're educating themselves a little bit. What should they be doing right now? Heather?
Heather Quick [00:21:12]:
So I definitely think that journaling is great. It, I've done so many podcasts with mental health professionals and everything. Like, it helps rewire your brain. It helps you understand your situation, right. Especially your fears and your concerns and whether, you know, hey, we all have fears and they're not always rational, but if you can write them down, that can help you identify that. So I think that's very important because part of going through a divorce and a major life transition is that this is a period, if you choose it, of self discovery and an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself, how you were in your marriage and what kind of partner you had and so that your relationships moving forward, you know, with your ex, with your children, anyone can be better. Right. Learned from for that.
Heather Quick [00:22:06]:
So I feel that that writing down journaling is very important and it may help give you clarity because you might not have someone to talk to and even if you do, it's the act of writing it down and then you can have that to refer later, that's really important. And if you are in a period where you're not sure and you are in a relationship where your husband and you communicate, right. We both had many of shows and talked about, you know, narcissists and controlling abusive relationships. I'm not talking about that. If you're listening and you're like, yeah, we're, we're just not sure. We're both recognizing some things and, or even if you're not talking about the divorce, it's only in your head, you haven't communicated it, but you too have good communication. I think it's really important to understand all the finances if you're in a position where you can ask.
Heather Quick [00:23:02]:
And one way that I think is a good way to approach it in the right relationship is, you know, honey, if something happened to you, what would I do? I don't know where anything is. I don't know who to talk to. And you know, I had a nightmare that you died and I didn't know anything. Everything's online. I think it's not really a loaded question. It's a fair question. And that will also tell you a lot, right?
Heather Quick [00:23:35]:
They're like, don't worry about it, you know, or you know what, you're right. Let's kind of look into it. Because one, we know marriages oftentimes are dissolved because of a lack of communication and finances. So it's a great way just to see if you're not really sure. Well, how can you two have that conversation? Are you even able to have that conversation? Because if you are, one, you're going to learn stuff and if you decide not to get divorced, you're going to be better off, you're going to know more and maybe the two of you now are talking about things that you hadn't talked about before. And if it doesn't go that way, I think you got your answer on a lot of things.
Leah Hadley [00:24:17]:
That's such a good point, Heather, that kind of a conversation is an important one for everybody to have, regardless of their relationship status. It's imperative, like even if you know your, your spouse doesn't pass, they can become incapacitated at any time. Like, you never know what's going to happen. Right. And so in order to make sure that you are protected and taken care of, it really is important that you have information about your financial situation, how to access funds if you need them, what that looks like. All of that is so critical to be able to just manage as a family if something should happen to the person who typically deals with those things. So. Absolutely.
Leah Hadley [00:24:56]:
But I think you're exactly right, Heather. The response on that question is it's information. It's really important information.
Heather Quick [00:25:06]:
Agreed. And I think that those two things, right, you're doing your own self discovery and you're trying to have those conversations are two very important things. And you know, there's a ton of stuff you can do, but if you can start with that, I think you'll start to realize the path that you want to take and that you should take for yourself and in your children, family.
Leah Hadley [00:25:35]:
Absolutely. Now, Heather, earlier on you had mentioned a journal that you guys have. Is that something that we can link to in the show notes?
Heather Quick [00:25:43]:
Absolutely. Yes, we will.
Leah Hadley [00:25:45]:
And we'll include A link in the show notes and where can people find out more about you, Heather, and the work that you're doing?
Heather Quick [00:25:52]:
So the best place is our website, Florida Women's Law Group.com and we are also across all of the social media platforms, but also my podcast, Women Winning Divorce. Leah, you've been a guest on there and I believe in lots of resources educating ourselves. And I think we're in year four, so there's just a lot of topics to learn and so many great professionals just to have a different way to think about it. So the goal of that show is to educate and empower women to have information and understand, you know, what, what they're going through with the divorce. So those are great things to find us and learn more.
Leah Hadley [00:26:38]:
Excellent. And we will be sure to link the episode that Heather and I did together just recently, so be sure to check that out if you haven't heard it already. Any final words you have for our audience, Heather?
Heather Quick [00:26:51]:
I just want to say that, you know, when you're going through this and worried about divorce, that's normal. But there are so many great resources and great women who are advocating for you and helping you to educate and get you through the process. And you can win at divorce without making the other person lose because that's part of just what is it that you want and how do you achieve that? And that, to me, is how you do win at divorce.
Leah Hadley [00:27:22]:
Thank you again, Heather, for spending time and sharing your wisdom with us today. I think this is going to be a really helpful episode for our audience and I really appreciate your time.
Heather Quick [00:27:32]:
Absolutely. Leah, thank you so much. One for all the work that you do and for having me on your show. Such a great pleasure.
Leah Hadley [00:27:39]:
Absolutely. And for our audience, thank you for being here with us and we will see you next week. Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey. If you find our content helpful, please leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce. Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
