Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce, finance and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention.
Leah Hadley [00:00:24]:
Hi there. Welcome back to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm so happy that you are here with us today. We have a wonderful guest. This is Karen Krupp. She is a self empowerment coach dedicated to helping women build confidence, clarity and courage as they create lives aligned with their deepest values. She specializes in supporting women who feel uncertain in their relationships, guiding them to find the strength to decide whether to stay, go or grow in new directions. With over 23 years as a body worker and healer in massage therapy, Karen brings a deeply intuitive, holistic approach to her coaching.
Leah Hadley [00:01:03]:
She is also a transformational women centered life coach and NLP practitioner. Blending practical tools with compassionate insight. Her work integrates mind, body and spirit, creating a safe and supportive space where women can release self doubt, reclaim their worth and step into choices that honor who they truly are. Welcome Karen. Thank you so much for being with us today.
Karen Krupp [00:01:26]:
Thank you. When I hear that, I like woo. Yeah, we all need a cheerleader, right?
Leah Hadley [00:01:30]:
For sure. So Karen, I was wondering if you would start off by telling us a little bit about your personal story and how you got into the work that you're doing.
Karen Krupp [00:01:41]:
Yeah. So I've been doing massage for a long time as you mentioned and I was looking for a new career knowing massage wouldn't last forever with body mechanics and all and age related stuff going on. And I was suggested to me to become a life coach. It was kind of like counseling. It sounded really a good fit for me. People are already spilling on their massage tables all about their lives, almost like I was a therapist Anyway, so I got into coaching about seven years ago and through finding my niche, it started out in self love because I needed a lot of that. A lot of coaches pick a niche that's relative to what they're going through on their own. And when I had left my last marriage and he was very unsupportive of my new career, um, it brought me to that.
Karen Krupp [00:02:25]:
The niche that just feels aligned with helping other women make that decision too.
Leah Hadley [00:02:30]:
I. I appreciate you saying that because although my ex husband never had the opportunity to share whether or not he would have supported my business and growing my business, I know just from our relationship that that would have been a hindrance for sure that that's not something that he would have been supportive of. And I think that it's just. It just takes a lot of courage, right, to say, like, to stand on your own and say, you know what? This is really important to me. This matters to me. And if you're not going to get on board, I'm still going to move forward.
Karen Krupp [00:03:03]:
Yes, definitely. There was so much resistance, and I'm not sure what it was about. And at this point, I don't care anymore because that may have suffered, but there was a lot of resistance. And on his part, I'm not sure what it was, but I was wanting to grow, and I was in a place of spiritual growth, you know, just personal growth, just all that stuff. And if your partner doesn't come along with that and try and see their own stuff, it doesn't work. We grow out of them just like we grow out of clothing or places we live in or.
Leah Hadley [00:03:31]:
Yeah. So you made the decision this last time to move forward with the divorce. Talk to me about, like, that decision. Did that take you a while to come to that conclusion? Kind of. How did that process work for you?
Karen Krupp [00:03:46]:
Yeah, I'd say it took over a couple of years of feeling very unseen and unheard and even going to some therapy appointments that didn't work. Didn't feel like we were doing the work. After therapy, therapy just wasn't working. I'd suggest other stuff, even vacations. Let's connect again on a vacation. No, we couldn't go on a vacation. It was during the pandemic years, too. So that feels so isolating when you feel that isolated, alone, and then your partner's not speaking to you for like a whole week at a time.
Karen Krupp [00:04:14]:
It was just, I had enough. I felt gaslighted. I felt ignored. My needs didn't matter. And there were words that would come out of his mouth that would even say, like, it's not my job to take care of you for the rest of your life. That kind of thing. Well, what do you think I'm trying to do? Stepping into supporting us a little more with my new career? And that kind of stuff was going on. It was a lot of stuff.
Karen Krupp [00:04:33]:
There was, you know, there's other elements and factors, family members that were intrusive. But I think I was just so done trying to fix it and fix him and fix myself and trying to hold it all together. It just felt like, if he's not participating, why am I still here? And I had a coach kind of have shine the light on that for me. Like, is he stepping up with you? And I said, no. And he said, well, you have your answer.
Leah Hadley [00:04:57]:
Yeah. It's still a hard conclusion to come to regardless of how you get there. Right. It's a hard decision to make and it's one that you really help people through. How do you help people with that decision?
Karen Krupp [00:05:09]:
So the women centered coaching that I do is helping women break through their inner barriers. We have a lot of the biggest three are shame, lack and isolation. Women sit in that shame. I was in a lot of shame thinking about getting divorced again because it wasn't my first or second. And we tend to come from that lack mindset too, that we don't have enough, we're gonna be lonely, we're not gonna have friends. You know, all that stuff kind of splits during a marriage. Right. So helping them break through those three things and there's a whole matrix of 21 other beliefs of, you know, I'm not lovable or not good enough or I'm too much.
Karen Krupp [00:05:42]:
And we all have those beliefs. When they break through those barriers and they can see them and start looking at taking responsibility for themselves, stepping in that responsibility to see those, I mean, oh my God, I've had this all my life. This playing the victim role or not being enough role. We have a lot of those. So as women, we do a lot of over giving over people pleasing, just putting shining the light in the mirror to them of what's happening so they can see their patterns. And then once we get through that and we break through that, like, oh my God, yeah, this is it. This is what's been happening and why it's been happening. And then we can move into a growth pathway of what skills and capacities do we need, how do we need to communicate now about what boundaries do we need to put in, kind of giving them the steps to really get at a higher level for higher level relationships.
Karen Krupp [00:06:29]:
Right. We don't want to stay in those lower level, lower energy relationships. And making that decision for divorce, like, really is difficult. And it's not like I want to lead them to divorce or not divorce, but just have it, have some clarity of what's happening so they can see the patterns to see what's happening. Like, can you live with somebody that's doing this? Can you, can you live with somebody, you know, that's not faithful? Can you live with somebody that's gaslighting you all the time or not listening to you, you know, really ask those important questions?
Leah Hadley [00:06:57]:
Yeah, those are absolutely important questions. And you know, it seems like we see more women, quite frankly, asking and asking for the divorce. I forget what the statistics are, but it's a pretty high percentage of divorces that it is the woman who ultimately ends up asking for filing for divorce. And it is a tough decision to come to. And I know, Karen, it sounds like you were in a couple of years in making that decision. What would you tell yourself now if you were back then kind of making that decision and thinking that through?
Karen Krupp [00:07:32]:
I probably would have gotten that way sooner. Yeah. I would have told myself that I was important enough to have a more lovable relationship in my life.
Leah Hadley [00:07:44]:
That's huge. I have to imagine that there are a lot of our listeners who are really resonating with some of the things that you're saying, because I so often hear people say, yeah, we tried couples counseling, but it was more like a check the box. Like, we went to the session, but there was no work done afterwards. Right. Or that, you know, we do like we plan the trip together, but then we don't end up spending time together on the trip or somebody cancels it or whatever the case may be of people trying all of these different things. And I'm just curious, was there one moment in time where you were just like, that's it, I'm done?
Karen Krupp [00:08:20]:
I think it was in some remarks around, you know, as we're moving forward, as you know, we were in our late 50s at the time, and I was thinking about setting up our wills and setting up budgeting, finances and stuff like that. And he kept bringing it up. But when it came to doing it, when I sat down and said, yeah, we need to do these things, there was so much resistance. It was like, okay, I don't see us planning a life together if we can't plan a life together. There was no planning. There wasn't. I couldn't see a future with him when there was no planning for the future with him. Not that we have to have big, giant goals, but we should be on the same page with things.
Karen Krupp [00:08:54]:
And we weren't on the same page with our finances. That was a big fighting issue all the time, which it is for a lot of marriages, money. And I can see in hindsight now where we didn't have discussions we should have had before we got married, that was my. Put my head in the sand, don't want to look at it. Someone's just going to take care of me. That's where I was back then.
Leah Hadley [00:09:12]:
Yeah.
Karen Krupp [00:09:13]:
I wouldn't do that again, but.
Leah Hadley [00:09:15]:
And where are you now? How far have you come?
Karen Krupp [00:09:18]:
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So I'm not. My head's not sand anymore. I'm on a budget. I've created a budget for myself and I put in all the little envelopes and I love taking care of my money where before it was always the man in my life because I grew up in that generation where the men took care of all that stuff. So, yeah, I'm handling all my own finances. I bought my own home.
Karen Krupp [00:09:37]:
I successfully doing coaching and massage therapy still. I'm going to take a new training in breathwork facilitation so I can start adding that to my repertoire as well. I'm happy. I have grandkids, three kids. I'm happy. I love that.
Leah Hadley [00:09:52]:
I love that. I'm a big proponent of breath work. So let me know when you start offering because I would love to come.
Karen Krupp [00:09:58]:
For sure it'll be in this area.
Leah Hadley [00:10:01]:
Yeah. That's fantastic though. I mean, really, you've come so long, so far and I have to say it is really empowering to step into that role of taking control of your money and being the one that's responsible, whether that's, you know, the envelope system or whatever system works for you. Just being empowered to know that, like, I get to make the decisions now. And that can feel very, very scary for people. Like, not I get to. I have to. Right.
Leah Hadley [00:10:26]:
I have to make the decisions now. But you get to. Right. And that's exciting because it gives you options, it gives you choice, independence. Right. And so I think that's really, really powerful to be in the driver's seat as it relates to money and then buying your own home. That must have felt amazing.
Karen Krupp [00:10:43]:
It did. And you said a key thing there. The have to versus choosing to. We have to change our language. I get a choice because so many times it's like, I have to do this, I have to. That we don't want to take that responsibility. And really that self empowerment that I want to coach people on is taking responsibility, stepping into that. I get to choose this.
Leah Hadley [00:11:03]:
Yes. That's so, so, so important. So you mentioned that you have gone through more than one divorce. What would you say? Like, did you learn something different from each one or kind of like, what was that experience for you?
Karen Krupp [00:11:16]:
Yeah, so I was. My first marriage was a longer marriage, the longest one I've had and had three beautiful children from it. I was not in a place to be married. I was, I would say, more irresponsible than anybody I know getting married. My kids know all this information. I kind of fell out of the marriage myself. I had an affair And I left out of shame again because I felt like we could repair it. So I learned a lot about having those daddy issues and trying to take responsibility for my life.
Karen Krupp [00:11:50]:
My second marriage was just a party and he left me. It was just. Yeah, he left me. He was quite a heavy drinker and I kind of had to let that go and learn from that mistake. That the oppos isn't always good too. You know, there's got to be a blend. I learned a lot. So it's a lot about really getting to know and love ourselves.
Karen Krupp [00:12:12]:
Even the shadow sides and the sides we don't want to look at. Like the part of me that was able to do that affair at that time, which would embarrass the hell out of me now I'm not that person anymore. But we all make mistakes and we all grow and learn from them. And I've stepped into letting go a lot of that shame. Letting go of the thought that I'm not good enough for a better relationship. Right. Where I'm controlled by men. Because there was a lot of controlling men.
Karen Krupp [00:12:38]:
You know, I married my father many times. He was a controlling man. Yes. I learned a lot from each of them.
Leah Hadley [00:12:46]:
Yeah, that's important. And it's so important. And are you in a relationship now?
Karen Krupp [00:12:51]:
I am not. And I choose not to be in one right now.
Leah Hadley [00:12:55]:
Yeah. Tell me more about that.
Karen Krupp [00:12:57]:
So I'm just. Yeah, I tried for a while after the divorce, I tried dating a little bit. And I just found that I just want to date myself longer. I just want to really be here for myself. And I'm creating more friendships and more collaborations, even just being on this podcast with you and getting to know you more. And I'm in groups of, you know, women groups, networking groups. That's what my focus is right now. I don't feel like I have time for a relationship.
Karen Krupp [00:13:24]:
I want time for my grandkids, time for, you know, take care of myself, the house, everything else. The career is more important to me right now. So I'd never really focused on a career before. I mean, I kind of did. It was always kind of a part time, ish thing. But now it's more of a full time thing for me and I'm really loving it and it's helping me grow in more ways than I've ever done before. Maybe eventually I'll have a relationship again, but not right now.
Leah Hadley [00:13:47]:
Yeah. I tell people being a business owner is like the best personal development. You have no choice but to grow.
Karen Krupp [00:13:56]:
Yes, exactly. Gotta set a fire. Under your ass occasionally, Right?
Leah Hadley [00:14:02]:
That's right. That's right. So now you obviously have a very full life. That sounds like is very fulfilling for you. When you exited your last marriage, did you see that for yourself? Was that like, did you expect to be, you know, kind of happy where you're at right now, or what did you see for yourself at that time?
Karen Krupp [00:14:24]:
Yeah. So when I first got divorced, I wasn't sure where I was heading. You know, I knew I jumped into more collaboration with somebody getting some coaching help from my taking off my business. Lived in an apartment for a while, just settling in. Just wanted some time to just really grow and heal. And then I saw myself eventually getting a house. So I waited for about a year to do that. And it felt good.
Karen Krupp [00:14:47]:
It felt like apartments are kind of dark, you know, and it was on the dark side of this building and there was woods behind me. It kind of felt like I went into a little cave for a while to kind of do enough healing and growing. And then I saw myself with more light and being in a home. And a home showed up for me and the home has a ton of light coming in. It just. I did not see it at the time, but I'm really happy where I'm at. I pictured something different than what I have now, but what I have now is something I'm really enjoying.
Leah Hadley [00:15:09]:
That's wonderful. That's so wonderful. So, Karen, tell me a little bit about some of the work that you do with your clients.
Karen Krupp [00:15:17]:
Yeah, so I love the embodiment work. So not only do I do the woman centered coaching focus, there's some embodiment work in it. So doing a feelings and needs exercise where they're breathing. So a lot of meditation, I guide them through Visualization is important. We visualize and we have to get a tangible outcome for the whole package, but also an outcome for each session. What do you want today? So we start with that. We go through questions of awareness to bring awareness to the topic of whatever's happening for them. Find where they're stuck, try and break through those glass ceilings.
Karen Krupp [00:15:53]:
I mentioned they're not good enough. The shame, lack isolation, Whatever it is for having kind of develop growth pathways and what their next steps are. Each call that's happening wherever they're at, showing up in little bits. Right. So along that journey, they're showing up to hit that end goal, but they have little mini ones along the way of where they want to go.
Leah Hadley [00:16:13]:
Okay, and do you just work with women or do you work with men as well?
Karen Krupp [00:16:18]:
Just women. Okay.
Leah Hadley [00:16:21]:
And where can people find you on social Media?
Karen Krupp [00:16:24]:
I'm on LinkedIn under Karen Krupp and I'm on Instagram as well.
Leah Hadley [00:16:30]:
Okay, fantastic. And I know right now you have a very special offer for people. Can you tell us about that?
Karen Krupp [00:16:36]:
Yes. So some people don't want to jump into a package for 12 sessions and pay like a high ticket item. They can just work with me for 90 minutes to get a result. Stopping the spiral. I call it my blueprint call, a stay or go blueprint call. It's a paid session with me just to experience coaching and to get their next steps. Envision what that's going to look like moving forward if they were stuck in their relationship spiral of confusion. You know, we kind of go around with the pluses and minus in our relationship and kind of get them out of that spiral going on.
Leah Hadley [00:17:06]:
Fantastic. I have to say I was not familiar with coaching in general. I mean, beyond athletics. Right. And then when I started my business and I started working with a business coach, I found how much they can really help you to get where you want to go faster. Right. Like just more efficiently to have that outside person help you to really find the wisdom that you already have, but to really like be able to get you working in the right direction to be really efficient with the results that you're getting. And so I imagine even in a 90 minute session, that's a great opportunity for somebody to get to know what coaching is like and then to see a real result is fantastic.
Karen Krupp [00:17:50]:
Yeah. It's those powerful questions that get you thinking that we don't think about those questions to ourself. It's not something we think to ask ourselves. And when a coach asks or can see something underlying, sometimes we have that intuition, as you probably know, of something that's not being said. And I kind of have a superpower there where something's not really being said but it's happening underneath the surface. And just having those plug those in, like, how's this sound? Try this on and see how it lands for them.
Leah Hadley [00:18:16]:
Yeah, yeah. Well, Karen, I really appreciate you taking the time to be with us today. Karen's email address is going to be in the show notes. So if you are interested in taking advantage of that 90 minute session or just learning more about Karen and her services, you can just shoot her an email and of course connect with her on the different social media platforms we mentioned. Those are also in the show notes for today. And any last words of wisdom for us? Karen.
Karen Krupp [00:18:43]:
Love yourself enough to do the work.
Leah Hadley [00:18:46]:
Oh, that's so powerful. Like mic drop moment. I love that so much. Karen, again, thank you so much for being with us and for our audience. We will see you next week.
Leah Hadley [00:18:58]:
Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey. If you find our content helpful, please leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce. Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
