Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor, and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce finance and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention.
Leah Hadley [00:00:24]:
Hi there and welcome back. I don't know about you, but I love this time of year. I live in Ohio, and Ohio does have beautiful seasons. We have a lovely fall where the leaves are changing colors and it's just so pretty to be in the parks right now and just to drive around. And I know soon that we'll be looking at the lights and hearing the Christmas music and all of that sense of possibility that comes with the change in seasons and the new year. But I also know that that can stir up a lot of pressure for a lot of people. We see those perfect family photos, right? Especially the ones that come in the mail, the Christmas cards, or the perfectly wrapped gifts under the perfectly decorated tree, the perfect gatherings. And it's easy to feel like we have to spend our way into.
Leah Hadley [00:01:23]:
Into some kind of joy. And if you've been through a big life change over this last year, maybe you are going through a divorce, you've went through a divorce, you may have moved. A lot of people have experienced career transitions in this last year. You all know that. You know, I lost somebody very important to me. I know a lot of people have lost loved ones over the last year. It can just make the holidays feel more complicated, quite frankly. You might want to recreate magic for your kids and hold on to traditions that used to feel grounding.
Leah Hadley [00:01:57]:
But sometimes the pressure kind of leaves us feeling emotionally and, quite frankly, financially drained. So in this episode, I really want to help you step into this season a little differently. I really want you to focus on meaning, gratitude and connection. You're going to leave with the tools to create real abundance without overspending or losing sight of what really matters. Because here's what I want you to know. Abundance isn't measured by how much we spend. It's measured by how deeply we love, how intentionally we live and how grateful we are for what we already have. When most people hear the word abundance, they think of having more.
Leah Hadley [00:02:49]:
So whether that is more money or it's more success or more stuff, right? But I want to really invite you to reframe that and to think about it differently. True abundance, it's not really about more, but I want you to think about it being in alignment. It's when your life, your money, and your values are all moving in the same direction. It's saying, I have what I need, I give what I can, and most importantly, I am enough, right? That's abundance. And when you start living from that place, then you stop spending to try to fill a void, and you start spending in a way that really expresses your values, what matters to you. So, for example, maybe you skip that extra shopping trip and take your kids ice skating instead, right? That family time, that's something that you really value. Maybe you write heartfelt letters instead of exchanging expensive gifts. Maybe you think about ways to simplify your plan so you can actually enjoy the holiday season rather than just finding yourself rushing through it.
Leah Hadley [00:04:01]:
I remember a year when money was really especially tight and I wanted to make the holidays magical for my kids, right? But I just couldn't do it the way that I used to. And that year actually turned out to be one of our most memorable. We did a lot of special things together. You know, my mom would bake cookies with the kids, we watched movies and made popcorn, had some quiet evenings together. And what it really reminded me of is that the magic really wasn't in what I bought, but what we shared. Right now, if you're feeling pressure to do more, to buy more, to give more, would you stop for a moment and just ask yourself, what would abundance look like if it was not tied to money? Let's say that again. What would abundance look like if it was not tied to money? That is really where the magic begins.
Leah Hadley [00:05:06]:
You know, I've talked previously in other episodes about when I've been going through difficult times in my life, how I really will lean on a gratitude practice to help me with my mindset. And gratitude can actually be a quiet but powerful financial practice. Believe it or not, when we focus on what is missing in our lives, that's when we really are living in that scarcity mindset. But when we focus on what is working where we have enough, we shift, right? Our mindset shifts. We feel more peaceful. And that gratitude can really calm our nervous system. It grounds us, right? Reminds us that we don't need to chase more to feel safe. So here is a very simple practice that I love.
Leah Hadley [00:05:55]:
It's one that I've shared with some clients over the years. But you grab a piece of paper, journal, whatever is easy for you. Maybe you just like to type on your computer or your phone. But I want you to think about these three things. First and foremost, what am I grateful for financially this year? So I want you to think back over the year, and I want you to take a moment to really celebrate what you have accomplished. Maybe you've built up some savings, maybe you paid off some debt. Maybe you've learned more about budgeting or about investing, or maybe you simply survived a hard season. And I'm right there with you if that's how you're feeling right now.
Leah Hadley [00:06:34]:
But I want you to think about, really, what are you grateful for financially over this last year? And then secondly, I want you to think about, what am I grateful to give this year? So not just financially, but emotionally, your time, your encouragement, your care, what are you grateful to be able to give this year? And then the third one is, what am I grateful to experience this year? And this is one that I always personally enjoy really kind of thinking about and dreaming about. But what are those little moments that are really going to fill you, right? Like, just fill your cup. Whether that's, you know, laughing with friends or just a calm, peaceful morning connection with the people that you love. When you look at spending through the lens of gratitude, you actually will naturally spend more intentionally. You may spend less, but you'll value what you do spend far more. So it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to spend less, but you might. But I think that you will value far more what you do spend. And here's the ripple effect.
Leah Hadley [00:07:42]:
When you practice gratitude, the people around you feel it. Your kids notice, your friends notice, your co workers notice. You start to show others that the holiday season is about more than just spending money. Right? It's about presence and kindness and creating those joyful moments, not about price tags. Now, you may not realize it, but your intentional choices are shaping a new definition of abundance. Not just for you, but everyone who's watching you. So let's talk about how to live this out. How do you enjoy the holidays fully while staying grounded financially and emotionally? Now, I know this is going to sound too simple, but here it is.
Leah Hadley [00:08:33]:
Simplify your gift list. We all start with good intentions and then somehow end up shopping for, like, the neighbor's dog by December 20th, right? So I want you to take a step back and to ask yourself, who truly needs to be on my list and make what I call a heart list, not a gift list. So who has supported you over this last year? Who do you want to thank? Then you want to ask yourself, what would make them feel seen? I want to say that again. What would make them feel seen? Would it be a letter? A framed photo? A handmade ornament? Sometimes the most meaningful gifts actually cost the least. Now, I don't think my youngest son will listen to this, but he may be a little embarrassed if I share this story. But I will tell you that one of my favorite gifts that I have gotten Christopher is my youngest son and he wrote out three Christmas cards. And what he did was he was making a card from each one of our dogs and it was just the sweetest thing. And all it was was literally, I think he may have even gotten some cards that we had from around the house or maybe somebody took them to the dollar store to get cards.
Leah Hadley [00:09:48]:
Regardless, that doesn't matter. It was really the thought of like creating these small gifts from the dogs that was just the sweetest thing and certainly didn't cost very much. The other thing I want you to think about is gifting experiences and not things. And the reason is experiences create memories that actually grow in value over time. So if you think about what, what really has mattered in your life, what has been meaningful, those are when you start to think about some of these memories. Times that you spent together could be as simple as a family movie night or a family game night. We often enjoy taking a drive through the big displays of Christmas lights that are out there. If you live in an area of the country where you can walk through those displays, maybe that would be nice for Thanksgiving.
Leah Hadley [00:10:38]:
We like to, before we have our Thanksgiving meal, share something that everybody's thankful for, which is a really nice experience. That presence of being together, that space and presence of being together, it's going to actually last much longer than any gifts or presents that you might give or receive. Now I also want you to set a values based budget. So instead of asking how much can I afford? I want you to ask how much feels right. So we're not asking how much can we afford, we're asking how much feels right. You're not just protecting your bank account, but you're also protecting your peace of mind because overspending, it does create anxiety. That's not really like, it's not really generosity if you think about it. I mean really, it's a bit of self sacrifice when you think about it, right? So be generous from a lot alignment, not from obligation.
Leah Hadley [00:11:35]:
And if you're divorced or co parenting, remember you don't have to make up for anything by spending more. Your kids will remember how you made them feel, not necessarily what you bought them. Right? And it's a great time to think about creating new traditions. Every year is a great time to think about creating new traditions. This one's big. When life changes, it's normal for our traditions to change, too. So instead of clinging on to what maybe we knew in the past, ask yourself what would feel meaningful now. You know, you might come up with some other things.
Leah Hadley [00:12:14]:
Maybe you want to volunteer. Maybe you want to host a brunch. Maybe you just want to take a day for yourself to rest and reset. Traditions don't have to be inherited. They can be intentionally created. And this is your opportunity to create something that's meaningful for you. Last but not least, I want you to practice mindful generosity. Generosity isn't only financial.
Leah Hadley [00:12:41]:
You can offer your time. You can offer your energy, even your empathy. And call a friend who's been feeling down. Offer to help someone who's feeling overwhelmed. Just be generous with yourself. Give yourself permission to rest, to say no to things, to breathe. You're going to find that when generosity is mindful, it can really fill up your cup instead of really draining you or emptying it, Right? So now, here is where it gets powerful. The way you approach this season is teaching those around you, your kids, your neighbors, your friends, they're all watching.
Leah Hadley [00:13:24]:
And so when you say no to chaos and you say yes to connection, you are sending a quiet but radical message. The holidays are not about proving love through spending. Let me say that again. The holidays are not about proving love through spending. They're about expressing love through. Through that presence and connection. Right? Talk about it openly. Tell your family why you're simplifying.
Leah Hadley [00:13:54]:
Share with your kids why you're choosing gratitude over gifts. These conversations, they may feel small, but they're planting really important seeds of awareness. And those seeds will grow into more conscious, compassionate adults who understand that money is a tool, not a measure of worth. Now, you're modeling that abundance doesn't come from buying things, right? But from being. From being who you are for being thankful, for being present. Right? So I'm going to close with a very simple mantra that some of you may find helpful. And that is, I have enough. I give enough.
Leah Hadley [00:14:38]:
I am enough. I have enough. I give enough. I am enough. That is really the heartbeat of abundance. You don't need to buy more to make the season meaningful. You just need to be present. So take time, slow down, breathe, right? Light a candle, maybe write a note to someone you love.
Leah Hadley [00:15:04]:
Let gratitude truly be your guide this holiday season. And if you want to carry this sense of peace and intention into the new year, I do want to invite you to join the Empowered Sisterhood. Inside that program, we talk about exactly these kinds of things. The emotional side of money, how to align your financial life with your values, and how to stay grounded in every season. We have our weekly coffee chats. We have a whole bank of resources online called the Real Money Toolkit. We do our monthly master classes. It's really a space for women who want to have real conversations, who want to learn to build wealth together.
Leah Hadley [00:15:52]:
So if you are somebody who is ready to feel supported, inspired and intentional, I do. I want to invite you to come join us. We will have a link in the show notes so you can check that out. If you haven't checked it out before, be sure to go to that page and see all the information there. But if you have questions, don't hesitate to reach out. Want to thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode spoke to your heart, I just want to invite you to share it with a friend or to tag me on Instagram. Intentional Divorce Solutions and I would love to know what resonated with you most.
Leah Hadley [00:16:28]:
Until next time, I want to encourage you. Take a deep breath and remember you are already living in abundance. Sometimes you just have to slow down enough to see it.
Leah Hadley [00:16:42]:
Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey.
Leah Hadley [00:16:52]:
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Leah Hadley [00:16:54]:
Leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce.
Leah Hadley [00:17:00]:
Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
