Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce finance and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention. Hi there and welcome back to Intentional Divorce Insights. I am so happy that you are here with me today. If you've been following me for a while, you know that I have a real passion for helping people to navigate the financial side of divorce with confidence and with clarity. You know, divorce can feel like such an emotional storm.
Leah Hadley [00:00:47]:
And when you're standing in the middle of that storm, you're asked to make life changing financial decisions at the exact moment that you are least prepared to do so. So today I want to talk about something that I hear over and over and over again from the women that I work with. And it really is the number one financial regret after a divorce. And honestly, it breaks my heart because quite frankly, it is preventable. That regret is not getting financial guidance soon enough. So let's dive into why that happens, what the ripple effects can look like, and most importantly, how can you avoid that regret in your own life? And when I ask a woman why they did not reach out sooner, the answers are pretty consistent, quite frankly. Some say I just didn't think I could afford it. Divorce is already so expensive.
Leah Hadley [00:01:45]:
Others say I was too overwhelmed or I thought I'd just get through the divorce and then deal with it later. Right? And then there are those who assumed that their attorney or their accountant had the financial side of things covered. But here's the reality. Most attorneys zone of genius is really that legal strategy, right? They're not necessarily trained, for the most part, to look at the long term financial implications of dividing assets. Now, accountants know taxes inside and out and I absolutely will always lean on them when we're doing tax analysis for folks. But they aren't necessarily looking at cash flow or retirement or sort of like big picture wealth planning. So let me give you an example. I once worked with a woman who she accepted the house in her divorce because it felt safe, it felt familiar.
Leah Hadley [00:02:43]:
Three years later, she was drowning in repair bills, property taxes and utilities. And keeping the house just wasn't the security blanket that she thought it was. And it actually kind of felt like a trap in terms of really limiting her financial freedom. Now, I don't share that to scare you, let's be clear. But just to highlight how easy it is to make decisions that feel Good emotionally in the moment, but may not serve you long term. So I want you to pause for a second and ask yourself, where am I hesitating to get support? And what might that hesitation be costing me now? Here's why waiting until later often turns into regret. Mistakes don't just actually like, sit still, right? They compound over time. So if we look at taxes, for example, maybe you split assets what looked like evenly on paper.
Leah Hadley [00:03:43]:
You walk away thinking, hey, we each got $200,000, but one of you got 200,000 in a pre tax retire account, while the other got $200,000 in after tax money. Those are not going to be equal, Right. When we consider the tax implications or the tax effect or the net after tax amount of those accounts. Right. Or if you consider cash. Well, let's say you trade away your investment accounts to keep the family home. Very common. But now instead of liquid assets you can draw on, you have an illiquid asset that constantly is costing you money right? Now, on paper, it may have looked like a fair trade, but in real life and in reality, it puts you under some, some financial strain, right? And then of course, there's retirement planning.
Leah Hadley [00:04:30]:
I have seen people divide accounts without considering the growth potential. Ten years later, one person's portfolio has doubled while the others has done nothing. Same starting number, very different outcome. Now, these aren't isolated issues. They show up months or even years after the divorce when it can be harder to make adjustments, right? So. But there is good news. Even if you're listening to this and realizing that you've already made one of these mistakes, it doesn't mean that you're doomed. It just means you might need to take intentional steps to course correct at this point.
Leah Hadley [00:05:06]:
Right? So let's be honest, it's not just about the numbers. Divorce is incredibly emotional, and our decisions are emotional, right? So I hear people say all the time, you know, I just want this over with, and they'll agree to terms too quickly. Or they may say, I need to feel safe. And so they keep that house even though it might not be financially sustainable. I just don't want to fight anymore. So they give up assets in order to just keep the peace. And I get it. I do get it.
Leah Hadley [00:05:36]:
I have been there myself. And when I went through my own divorce, there were moments when the emotional weight of what was happening really clouded my financial judgment. Right? And that is exactly why I do the work that I do today, because I know how easy it is to get swept up in the emotion, even as a financial professional. But here's the thing. Awareness really is power. Once you know that these emotional traps exist, you can pause, you can take a step back, and you can make more intentional, thoughtful choices that are really going to be aligned with the life that you want for yourself. So how do you avoid these regrets? Let me give you a few strategies. First, get clarity.
Leah Hadley [00:06:21]:
Write down every asset, every debt, all of your sources of income, any of your expenses. Want to get really clear on your financial situation. So many women tell me they didn't even realize what they had until they saw it all in black and white. So let's get it in black and white. Second, I do want you to think long term, right. Before you agree to something, ask yourself, will this decision still feel good five years from now? Now, sometimes that simple question can actually shift your perspective, right? We get very short sighted when we're in this process. So ask yourself, will this decision still feel good five years from now? Third, I do want to encourage you to seek specialized advice. Right.
Leah Hadley [00:07:10]:
Not all financial advisors are the same. Actually just wrote a article, I'm not sure if it's on our website yet or not, about kind of the difference between a traditional financial advisor and the training that a certified divorce financial analyst or a CDFA receives and how, you know, a CDFA may look at the, the issues that come up in a divorce differently from a traditional financial advisor because they are used to operating within the context of the law, leaning on attorneys for that legal advice to really understand, you know, the context of how these negotiations are occurring. Right. They're also looking at things like tax implications of your division, liquidity of your assets, long term, sustainability of the decisions that you're making. Right. And that's very different where a traditional financial advisor just might not be trained in those nuances. Right. Fourth, I do want to encourage you to just build a supportive team around you.
Leah Hadley [00:08:10]:
You don't have to go through this alone. I'm going to say that again. You don't have to go through this alone. I really want you to know that. Surround yourself with people who can help you know, whether it's a solid financial partner, a great attorney who's going to be your advocate, great emotional support to help you get through the process. Just know that you don't have to do it by yourself right there. There is a community of people out there ready and willing to support you. So here's an exercise that I would love for you to try.
Leah Hadley [00:08:41]:
Now, if you're not driving right now, grab a piece of paper, write down the one financial decision that feels heaviest to you right now. Now, maybe it's whether to keep the house that's a common one. Maybe it's what to do with retirement accounts. Maybe has something to do with some debt. Whatever it is, write it down. Now ask yourself, who could I reach out to for clarity around this one decision? Even just identifying that one next step can just be a relief. You know, get that weight off of your shoulders. I want to remind you that even if you've already made some missteps, it is never too late to course correct.
Leah Hadley [00:09:25]:
I've worked with women who came to me years, sometimes a decade post divorce, feeling like they'd messed everything up. But with the right strategies, we have helped them to rebuild, to restructure, set them on a real path towards stability and that feeling of financial freedom, right? Your divorce does not define you. What does define you are the choices that you make moving forward. And I promise you, I promise you that you are capable of more than you think you are. Now, I do want to know. I do want you to know that that is why I created our upcoming workshops. If you haven't seen us advertising that. It's called the Biggest Financial Mistakes Women Make After Divorce and more importantly, how to Avoid Them.
Leah Hadley [00:10:12]:
It's happening on October 15th at 1pm and I do hope that you join me in that session. I'm going to walk you through some of the most common financial mistakes I see every day. And more important, certainly I'll give you practical strategies you can use to avoid them. You're going to leave feeling clearer, more empowered, and really ready to take intentional steps toward your financial future. And we will include the link in the show notes to get registered for that. Do not wait until regret creeps in. Give yourself the gift of knowledge and support right now. I want to thank you for spending some time with me today.
Leah Hadley [00:10:53]:
If you have found this helpful, please be sure to share it with a friend who might be going through a divorce or recently divorced. It may be exactly what they need to hear and remember. Your next chapter is yours to create. I'll see you at the workshop and I will be here soon with more insights and encouragement. Take care of yourself and your future. Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey.
Leah Hadley [00:11:24]:
If you find our content helpful, please leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce. Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
