Leah Hadley [00:00:01]:
Welcome to Intentional Divorce Insights. I'm Leah Hadley, certified divorce financial analyst, accredited financial counselor, and the founder of Intentional Divorce Solutions. I'll be your guide through the complexities of divorce, finance, and emotional wellness. Join me as we uncover practical tips and empowering insights to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and intention. Welcome back to intentional divorce insights. I am so happy that you are here with us. It is my pleasure to introduce our guest today. Tammy Cho is a former patient care leader turned international best selling author and speaker, face and body analysis expert, which we're gonna learn all about what that means, and chief energy officer.
Leah Hadley [00:00:48]:
Tammy empowers leaders to embrace their authentic self leadership and energy so that they can expand their capacity to receive greater connection, abundance, and flow in their authentic connections, business income, and impact. With over 20 years in the psychospiritual industry, Tammy merges methodologies like proven face and body analysis, neuroscience, human design, NLP, EFT, shamanism, and metaphysical laws to serve her clients. Tammy has been featured everywhere. She's been on positive impact TV, brains magazine, bold journey, and several of the major news channels like Fox, ABC, NBC, etcetera. We are so pleased to have you here. Thank you so much, Tammy, for being with us.
Tammy Cho [00:01:37]:
Thanks for having me, Leah. I'm so happy to be here as well.
Leah Hadley [00:01:40]:
Fantastic. So we, today, are talking about really how divorce can be your teacher for personal empowerment, and all about emotional empowerment through the divorce process. But we really dive into that, I know that you do face and body reading, and I'm just so curious to hear how that can support somebody.
Tammy Cho [00:02:02]:
Yeah. I'd love to share a bit about it. Face analysis essentially is under, a therapy called psychosomatic therapy, and it is based out of Australia and it's not as well known in North American locations per se, but essentially it's the study of the body mind heart soul connection, Leah, as it's expressed through our facial features, the lines, the shape of our face, how we breathe, how we walk, the shape of our body, the posture, all of this speaks to our, a lot of our emotional history and things that we may have held in, not processed, shows up on our body and face. Our body is also, because it's linked in with the body, mind, heart, soul, it's also the vehicle for our soul. So oftentimes, it shows us if we're on purpose with, for example, our, calling, so to speak, and if we're on direction with it. And so, yes, it's a mixed bag of tricks here, Leah, that comes together and our I I I hope to help everyone see here that, there's more to it than just, you know, our physical body, so to speak. And, so did I answer the question, Leah? Is there just feel free to just, like, keep, Clear
Leah Hadley [00:03:19]:
as mud, Tammy. No. I'm just kidding. I just find this fascinating how you can learn so much just by a person's you know, what they're portraying physically.
Tammy Cho [00:03:32]:
Yeah. It's it's, you know, on my journey myself, like, I I was, someone that I came from actually, a family, that broke up when I was a baby actually. So I've come from that and, what I've learned is that even though I wasn't an adult and experiencing or a, not an adult, but an older child experiencing it, it still affected me on many levels, you know, and it created a lot, within me in the sense of, struggling with depression, like, who am I and anxiety, a lot of these emotional things. And as I navigated through my journey and I became a nurse and a patient care leader working bedside to supervising a hospital, I burned out and had a lot to do with me not really learning how to deal with my emotions and that slowed me down Leah. But when I had my first daughter and she was 6 months old, she did something really cute, you know, there on the mat and most moms would be so excited that they hit something intentionally for the first time, but I was really disconnected with my own emotions. I just couldn't feel it. If it wasn't for that nursing next to me, Leah, yeah, I would have known because we don't know it. We're in it and while we're in it so to speak.
Tammy Cho [00:04:52]:
And this is what got me venturing in all these different areas of, trying to master the mind and, doing all these personal development. And I became a millionaire at that point in my thirties, but I still wasn't happy, you know. And so I I ventured I kept on venturing on to doing a variety of energy works, which I felt a lot better, you know, clearing the energy, but when I stopped exchanging healing, so to speak, I still felt all the emotions underneath. And then that brought me into 4 years of emotional and spiritual healing and then psychosomatic therapy which brought it all together for me. And so, through all of this in my journey, it really highlighted a lot of pieces where on my body, I was, like, wanting yearning for love and connection, but a part of my body was also pushing it away. And so this could play out in divorce, quite commonly, actually, and I'll move forward to talking about it more as we go along. But I just wanted to give a little bit of framework on how much this plays out for many of us because we're not really taught to really be with our emotions. Right, Leah?
Leah Hadley [00:05:59]:
It's such a good point. And I know when people are going through a divorce, they are often feeling just completely emotionally overwhelmed. And so it can be really hard to get in touch with kind of what's going on. How does one navigate emotions within themselves?
Tammy Cho [00:06:16]:
Yeah. And that's a really, big question. And I what I would suggest is, to not be afraid of your emotions, and to really allow yourself to be with it. Because what happens is oftentimes when we are, you know, stressed, overwhelmed with things, we kinda wanna, you know, fix it or get rid of the emotions In a lot of ways that actually, what we repress and suppress actually, feels more lively within us. It's just that we've put the lid on it for a while. And so, you know, obviously, some quick things is definitely moving the body. And I think, you know, people hear about exercise. I don't have time for exercise or or something like that.
Tammy Cho [00:06:56]:
But oftentimes, moving our body is really helpful to move energy and, I talk about energy a lot. Emotions are energy in motion or out of out of motion. Right? And so when we just move the body in itself, that is definitely helpful, especially when we're overwhelmed to sort of calm the system down. But a lot of it does come back to learning how to hold space to be with your own emotions Because, you know, it it it seems easier to just avoid it a lot of the times, but often that piles onto our children and it makes the situation worst. Worse when we're talking to, you know, the other party or, you know, and it spills over to our our business or our work. Right? Whatever that is. And so, yeah. And so please please give me a scenario, Leah, because it's it really depends on where someone's at and how to process their emotions.
Tammy Cho [00:07:54]:
That's what I'm I'm noticing. There is there's so much to it. Yeah.
Leah Hadley [00:07:58]:
There is so much. Right? So, you know, for a lot of our listeners, they may have just learned that their spouse filed for divorce, and now they are just reeling because their whole life is gonna change.
Tammy Cho [00:08:14]:
Yeah. And so in the moments of of that, I mean, the really it's first of all, taking deep breaths, for one thing is that taking the deep breaths has a lot to do with breathing deeper down into your belly. Because I find when we're anxious, stressed, and hearing news for the first time, shocking news like this, very much we start to breathe very shallowly. Right. And so and it often just expands up here and actually reinforces more anxiety and upset feelings. So really, down to basics is most effective is because our our breathing is the easiest way to process right in the moment. And so that's what you want to do right away. And once you're able to bring yourself back to, okay, like, this is happening, and you're sort of past that initial shock, it's really important to accept what's happening in the moment because our mind often will take us into all these things we gotta do, and it takes us away from actually being present to what is actually happening in a moment.
Tammy Cho [00:09:21]:
And it's really important in that moment to, what is it that what is it that I want? Like, all these other feelings, like, what did I do wrong? You know, other feelings like what happens with the kids. It's it's really important to be able to process each of these pieces, yeah, in its entirety, and obviously, you know, having that conversation with the other one if it's that fresh. There's there is a lot to this and, I I I mean, I don't necessarily use face analysis in the moment of a divorce per se, but what we could actually see a lot of in someone's face because the left side of her face is very much our private face, but it's also our connection to the feminine part of ourselves is that often our relationship to a mother figure. And the right side is the public face, what we show to the world and it has a lot to do with do with that analytical, more mental, masculine energy as I like to call it. But also that, a masculine figure in your life. And when we're fresh in it, we can't see all this, but when we back, pour ourselves out of the situation and look within, we can really see within our face, what's showing up in our face. What patterns have been playing out? Is this your first divorce? Is this your 4th divorce? Right? Is there a pattern here? Maybe it's your first divorce, but what are the patterns in past relationships that are playing out here? Because it's often our relationship with our, mom, dad in the past that actually we keep on replaying out into the future. And when we're not conscious and intentional, it really puts us in a repetitive cycle and we start to actually regress back into our emotional younger selves.
Tammy Cho [00:11:25]:
And that's unfortunately what happens for adults. You ever been in a room, Leah, where adults are acting like kids, because we naturally when we're not conscious on all of these, we're we're reenacting these things. And so going through a divorce, maybe not right in the beginning, but definitely, there's a lot of healing, like, you know, there's things that go on that What I do wrong? What I what was I not good enough? And, you know, there's all this self self judgment that comes in from someone saying this to us. And so another thing that comes up for me, Leah, is that very much that when we're in a situation, one of the fastest ways to move ourselves out of it is literally to move our body out of the situation. So if you're in here and all these emotions are going going on, I do, invite you to try to remove yourself from the situation literally with your body and stand over there. And and you're switching your mind, like you're shaking yourself off if you need to, but switch your mind to looking at yourself over here. And just, like, observe without any judgment and to look at what's happening from the outside to really have the objective viewpoint, so to speak. And it sounds really odd just to move our body, but with intention, when we're here, we're in it.
Tammy Cho [00:12:52]:
Very much like my story. I couldn't see it because I was in it. One way that I empower my clients is to really use, the position that they're thinking about it in. So we move out of the body for a second just into another space over there. We we shake off the motions as much as that we can, and this will take some practice especially if you're not used to, separating yourself in this way. Because when you stand over there, you can look in and see what does that person need. You know, what does she need to hear? What does she need to know? Right? And you allow yourself to be that loving friend looking in.
Leah Hadley [00:13:32]:
That's so powerful.
Tammy Cho [00:13:34]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then just just write it down and just allow yourself to be neutral, you know, and it's like, you know, emotion will come up, you know, sometimes. But with more practice like this, it allows you to be objective and not to make rash decisions. As we know we shouldn't make decisions as if we're angry or in our emotions. And so so yeah. It it is, you know, I it's it's a lot to go through.
Tammy Cho [00:14:01]:
I mean, I haven't gone through divorce myself, but it took a lot of, it took 3, soul, soulmate class. I think it's called quantum soulmate courses. Like, me and my husband because we both came from, upbringing, the addict had a lot of trauma and it really played out in our relationship. And so it really required a lot of work to stay into it, And I also understand the process of everything that came up in the process. So so, hopefully, that was helpful, you know, for someone that's going through it in the moment of what we could actually do to support ourselves. Right?
Leah Hadley [00:14:40]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I think that's tremendously helpful, especially all of the very practical tips that you mentioned, because it sounds like there's so much that we can do to really empower ourselves through the emotional turmoil, which is huge because so many people feel so disempowered through the divorce process.
Tammy Cho [00:15:01]:
Yeah. And it's it's so important, you know, to have someone like you, Leah, or someone outside, like a, you know, coach or support person to really hold you through the process to keep you grounded. And so, that's another thing. Right? Like, in the in the moment to really, you know, stomp your legs and allow yourself to be actually feel like you're supported. Like, I I know it's maybe feels a real, really odd to do this, but maybe even lying in your bed, or on the floor, where you actually feel this feeling supported. Because if you've been in a relationship in a while, a big trigger that comes up is not feeling supported because suddenly, there's a separation in our grounding. And so one way to really support ourselves is, like, literally set the intention. Right? You're not lying down to rest, although you could after doing this.
Tammy Cho [00:15:53]:
But intentional. Right? Like, to really allow yourself, like, see feel that you're supported, by the earth. Maybe it feels like a friend. Maybe, you know, your relationship to your spirituality, really allow yourself to be held in this way and breathe and really allow yourself to feel and process because when, you know, when we allow ourselves to feel and we let the gate out, like, oh, it feels so good. Just let all those motions go so you could come back to, okay. Okay. I'm okay. And learning to, take care of yourself, especially when that voice of judgment comes out.
Tammy Cho [00:16:33]:
Because that definitely, I would imagine, would come out quite a bit.
Leah Hadley [00:16:37]:
Absolutely. I mean, it's something that people struggle with, not just through the divorce process, but for years following the divorce. And I think it's one of those things that can really hold you back from allowing yourself to create this next chapter that's really something that is an empowering experience.
Tammy Cho [00:16:57]:
Yeah. And it's like the only way back to our power is if we're feeling grounded and calm. You know? Just remember that I I'm choosing every single moment. It's like you have a new choice. It doesn't matter if we you screwed up back there with the kids, with what you said, or whatever. You know? Like, every moment is a new moment. And so, really, yeah, they give yourself a lot of grace and compassion, because whatever that other partner did for you, like, gave you that compassion, it's it's won't be present. Right? And so it will this is where he comes in or she comes in or whatever.
Tammy Cho [00:17:33]:
Right? And and this is where you stand in your leadership and you take that breath. It's like, no. This is I'm standing up for myself. I'm choosing to give myself compassion because I I matter. You know? It's really standing in this place of empowerment. Like, literally, if you need to put your foot down, shake your body out because I know it's it's really hard and sometimes you gotta need to catch it in the moment. You know? And so and maybe that's helpful. Right? Right in the beginning to just write down what what your partner gave you.
Tammy Cho [00:18:05]:
Because, not only is this a place of empowerment for you, but recognizing that that's the places that you're likely being called to grow in. Mhmm. Because what what I believe and what I teach my clients is that everything that happens happens for a reason, and it's actually working out for you even though it feels very crappy in the moment. And when we start to, you know, again, look out to that wider view, eventually, when we get there, we'll start to see why it happened. And you realize, you know, the woman or man you will actually become because of it, but it wouldn't have happened if this didn't happen. And, yeah, and so that's why, like, it I I'm suggesting the exercise to really step back and look at this as much as you can in the moment. Right? And this is why it's so important to have support people to help you see not only a neutral place, but you learn how to let yourself be supported in ways that maybe you don't know how, or it was provided to you already, for a while and you didn't get practice in that. Right? So so yeah.
Tammy Cho [00:19:13]:
So so let let me know, Leah. Like, I hope that this is helping your audience. I really just wanna be here in a way to serve and, yeah, and honestly bring people back to our authentic self, because it's actually oftentimes it's through the emotions and the pains that we really get to know ourselves deeper. We learn how to care and connect and be with ourselves and in that moment we expand our ability to actually receive and let in more. It's in place of surrendering and letting go like really allowing some yourself, when you're feeling just stuck, you don't know what to do. Just imagine, like, everything being like, you're wearing all these coats, like, all these identities of, like, being a mom, letting go of it. Like, I gotta look put together, like, breathe every moment. Just, like, let go of everything.
Tammy Cho [00:20:10]:
Let go of the relationship. Just imagine, like, like, what do I see if I let go of everything? Because for me, that has has helped me a lot, you know, in my business, in my life, and coming back to gratitude and everything that I've I actually do have still, but it also helps me come to a place of clarity within myself to realize that, wow. I real you know, you'll realize that, wow. It's it's actually, you know, I don't know how to take care of myself. Or you'll come to some realization. And if that comes up, surrender that too, and just keep on doing that. You'd be surprised what will come through. It's a very awakening exercise.
Tammy Cho [00:20:57]:
Breathe, ground, shake, keep on surrendering and letting go. Yeah. And you might wanna play with setting intention of what you want to receive when you do that beforehand, because that will open up a lot. When you set your intention, you're allowing energy to come and support you. And so set the intention and energy will flow to your attention. And, yeah, that will work in a lot of areas. So be very intentional in this process as this podcast is intentional divorce, like, literally, like, not only intentionally in the divorce, but through every area, like, before everything you go into, allow yourself to come back to intention. What's my intention right now? My intention is to cry.
Tammy Cho [00:21:47]:
My intention is to be gentle to myself. My intention is to talk to, you know, my kids. My intention is to receive support. Like, be be really clear with the boundaries side of things for yourself on what you need, and to ask for what you need.
Leah Hadley [00:22:08]:
I love that visual of all the coats because when I think of somebody wearing a lot of coats, there's so much weight to all of that fabric, right? And so that visual of like removing the multiple coats. It just looked like a great release. I just I could like completely identify with that.
Tammy Cho [00:22:27]:
Yeah. Because we do like wear a lot of energetic coats. Yeah. And although we can't see it, right, it's it's all there and that that's why it gets held in the body. Right? And it affects our health over time and all these kind of things. Right? So, you know, this is a process that, you know, really sets in the moment and, you know, it's it's gonna help me. Like, you know, I'm not sure where everyone is at, but the universe is out to help me. You know? Like, just changing that mindset altogether is really supportive.
Tammy Cho [00:22:56]:
Right? Because right now, you're just feeling all alone. And it's like knowing that something bigger does that I don't care if you call it god spirit, universe energy, whatever you wanna call it. They don't really care. It's what's gonna serve you and, you know, it's like know that, you know, the planets circle around, you know, the sun and everything. All these things are happening naturally. That energy of something bigger is doing it anyway. Like, that's the energy I talk about. If you don't have, like, a a grounding for what What the hell Tammy's talking about? How the flowers bloom, you know, and they naturally do it without anyone telling them when and how.
Tammy Cho [00:23:38]:
It's like that's the energy. So, yeah, just take a breath into that.
Leah Hadley [00:23:47]:
That is so fantastic. So many practical tips that you provided to us today, Tammy. And I know you have a free resource for our listeners as well. Can you tell us about that?
Tammy Cho [00:23:58]:
Yeah. It's a resource I called, I created, and I called it lead with authenticity. And it's a 5 part, face analysis, video series. And it really supports you to come back to yourself to really see, support an inner awakening for yourself. You're, I'm holding space for you to really see yourself in a different way, to see what your facial zones mean in your capacity of self leadership, whether that's within yourself or outside of yourself. Your capacity for that, your expression of that, your self awareness with that, and also moving into seeing your inner outer worlds and how to bring, start to bring some alignment to these places and to really empower and elevate yourself leadership. Right? So you step into a place of, okay. This is where I'm at, accepting where we're at, and then taking a step forward.
Tammy Cho [00:24:54]:
Because nothing changes without awareness, as we know, and so that's, super important. I I hope that somewhere in this journey of, the separation of these parts of you, separation with the face, two sides of the face, it's going to support you in coming together again because you always will, but you're gonna be a a a better person, a better version, I should say, of yourself.
Leah Hadley [00:25:20]:
I love that. Thank you so much for being here with us today, Tammy. Where can people find you who wanna learn more about you?
Tammy Cho [00:25:28]:
Yeah. You can visit my website. It's called path to the heart. Literally how it sounds. Path to the heart.com. Yeah. And you could get a hold of me there find out more about what I do, and if you go to path to the heart.com and then forward slash links all my social media is there, if you want to connect to that way as well.
Leah Hadley [00:25:50]:
Fantastic. Do you have any final words for our audience?
Tammy Cho [00:25:58]:
Thanks for asking, Leah. And what's coming through from my heart to yours is that you're lovable no matter what is happening outside of you. And so, please allow yourself to take a breath and receive that because it's so true. You're you're lovable just the way you are.
Leah Hadley [00:26:21]:
So beautiful. Thank you so much again, Tammy. And for our audience, thank you so much for listening today, and we will see you again next week. Thank you for joining me on Intentional Divorce Insights. It's a privilege to share this time with you. I hope each episode offers valuable guidance to navigate your journey. If you find our content helpful, please leave a review to help others discover the benefits of intentional decision making in divorce. Until next time, take care and continue to embrace your path with intention.
