by Laura Miolla, Certified Coach, Mediator and Parentology Coach
Infidelity is a LOADED word. You think you know what it means. You might know how it feels. You definitely don’t want it to happen to you. The very thought of it creates an immediate knee-jerk reaction of fear and anxiety. Like most people, you probably define infidelity as cheating … sexual relations outside of the marriage … and yet, that definition only scratches the surface of what infidelity REALLY is and how it can sabotage your marriage.
Infidelity is defined as “the action or state of being UNFAITHFUL to a spouse.” And there are THREE types of infidelity, not just one: Emotional, Physical and Financial.
It is my pleasure to welcome our latest guest blogger, Karen Dorsey. Karen is sharing some important information about a service often overlooked - pre-mediation coaching. Often those seeking mediation are looking to save money and aren't willing to consider additional services. However, some of those cost savings measures could cost you more in the long-run.
Pre-mediation is an excellent example of an investment that is well worth your time and money. It helps you to make the best use of your mediation sessions. While I (and I believe most other mediators) offer pre-mediation coaching on an informal basis for all my clients choosing mediation, Karen provides a more formal approach (described below), which could be especially helpful in high conflict cases.
Are you and your spouse deciding on whether or not to go to mediation?
Is your attorney recommending mediation instead of a costly court battle?
Is the court in your state...
Social media has become such an important part of our lives. However, when going through a divorce, you may want to be a little more cautious. I am thrilled to welcome guest blogger, Elizabeth Billies, to share the seven don'ts of social media during a divorce.
by Guest Blogger, Elizabeth Billies, Attorney
We share our lives on social media. Birthdays, vacations, pet photos, it's all out there for the world to see. Social media posts, text messages, and emails have become the most common ways we communicate with our friends and family. So, it makes sense that if you are willing to share your latest sunset photo or what you ate for breakfast on the internet, you are also likely to share your thoughts on your divorce/breakup online as well.
However, you need to think about what you post on social media during this process. Certain social media don'ts can have a direct effect on your divorce. The last thing that you want is to...
It is my absolute pleasure to welcome guest blogger, Melissa Davis. Melissa’s story is so inspiring for anyone who is working to heal after an affair.
Related post: Healing from Infidelity
I was in my closet (my go-to place when things get hard for me), curled up in a ball, sobbing. Not just sobbing, it was this sound I didn’t know I could even make. I was wailing - I lost all control of my thoughts, emotions, and my physical body. One word raced through my mind, tormenting me, “Why?”
I had a good life. My oldest just turned three and I had just given birth to my second daughter. I loved being their Mama! I was the kind of woman that gave everything for her family and put myself last or just completely ignored my own needs. Cook three meals a day, clean, walk the dog, set up playdates, teach ABCs, encourage my husband, listen to Kidz Bop and enjoy it more than the kids, full-time mom and wife. I loved it, my whole day was...
Written by Nancy Hetrick of Smarter Divorce Solutions
With the increasing popularity of Pinterest, the concept of “do-it-yourself” or “DIY” projects have become enticing for many. I don’t consider myself to be the least bit crafty but have taken on daunting projects like painting kitchen cabinets (I swear, never again) all in the interest of saying, “Wow – look what I did! And I saved a lot of money!”
In some cases, however, DIY is necessary and the only option. Consider for example couples who are going through a divorce and simply don’t have the financial means to get professional assistance. They are reliant upon DIY divorce documents and are faced with navigating complicated legal issues reduced to fill-in-the-blank forms. It’s a means to an end, albeit less than ideal.
Then there are others who pursue DIY divorce documents simply as a way of saving money ...
I am thrilled to welcome Rita Abdallah back as a guest blogger. She recently shared a blog post about emotions and feelings, the difference between the two, and how to cope with them. I thought it might be useful to consider for those of you who are currently going through a divorce. Dealing with emotions in a divorce can be overwhelming. These emotions and feelings can often cloud judgment making it difficult to make thoughtful, fact-based decisions.
After your read Rita's blog below, consider how your emotions and feelings could be impacting you. At the conclusion of her article, Rita offers some great tips on how to recognize when you are in an emotional or feeling state and how to overcome it.
by Guest Blogger, Rita Abdallah, LISW-S, LCSW-C, ACSW
Despite the fact we experience a cocktail of emotions and feelings throughout every day, most of us struggle to explain what’s happening. Experts - neuroscientists and mental health...
by Guest Blogger, Joanna Hardis, LISW (originally published on joannahardis.com)
Are you suffering from the pain of infidelity? Do you feel lost? Unanchored? Confused? Like you’re just not good enough? Well, you’re not alone. And there is hope.
Last month, I attended an all-day workshop with psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel, entitled “Healing from Infidelity.” Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. She helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Not only is her voice mesmerizing, but she’s also very witty, incredibly smart and generous with her knowledge.
When Perel asked how many of us in the audience had been touched by infidelity, hands shot up across the entire room. This closely mirrors my clinical experience working with men and women in all...
by Guest Blogger, Denise French, CRPC, CDFA
February is known as “Divorce Month” and kicks off what is known as “Divorce Season.” Do you know your divorce options?
The holidays are over; the decorations are down, and now it’s back to reality. Unfortunately, the truth is you and your spouse face another difficult, unhappy Valentine’s Day, which will likely be followed by another awkward, angry summer vacation. Then the holiday grind all over again. You don’t want to do this another year. You had a terrible holiday season, and now you feel like you are starting this all over - and you just can’t do it anymore.
So, what do you do?
This is the time to do some soul-searching.
You once loved your spouse; you chose this person for a reason. Is there work you can do to rekindle that feeling? Feelings follow actions. If you can act again like you did when you were dating, your feelings will...
The following is a guest post written by Erica N. Reed, LCSW-C. Additional information about Erica can be found below.
As you planned the wedding ceremony and created your life together, the last thing you anticipated was scheduling a meeting to dissolve the marriage. Whether the marriage had been in turmoil for a while, or you were caught off guard by the request for separation, women who are in the process of separation and divorce are on an emotional roller coaster and are simply trying to find stable footing.
Experiencing anger, sadness, hurt, fear, and resentment are to be expected during this time. It’s very typical. However, when entering mediation, these emotions can sabotage a successful outcome.
Here are three mindset shifts that are important for you to address as you prepare for mediation with your spouse.
Do you remember that emotional roller coaster I spoke about? I’m sure you can...